He smiled back.
“I wish I could stay longer, but I’ve got to get back to work soon,” I said, though the rush hadfinally calmed down.
Quinn put their tablet away. “Then I’ll go now, so I don’t have to come back in later.”
“You can stay and draw as long as you want.”
“No, I’ve taken up more than enough of Adri’s time.”
Adri shook his head, but Quinn didn’t back down and just smiled.
“Thank you, really. I hope you can make that phone work. Maybe send Pop a video when it does.”
“I can do that.”
His voice did that dippy thing again, but Quinn didn’t notice.
“And thank you for letting me go on about Kaia and Frank’s podcast.”
The color on Adri’s cheeks darkened as if he was blushing, which didn’t fit the shuttered look in his eyes.
“It’s a good podcast.”
“Facts. It’s so real. Well, bye, Adri. Thank you.” Quinn tucked their notebook into their bag and gave me a hug. “He’s nice, Pop. Thank you.” They skipped off to their bike. I sat with Adri in silence until Quinn disappeared toward the park.
“How many kids do you have?” Adri said into the silence.
“It’s complicated, but five.”
“‘Complicated’?”
“They’re not all… well, they’re not all my biological children. But Quinn’s dad, his wife, and I, we’re raising them all together.”
“But Quinn is… your biological child?”
“Yes. As is Julian. They’re twins.” I could see confusion in Adri’s eyes, but I wasn’t ready to explain being trans to him, on top of this family dynamics 101 lesson. “Like I said, it’s complicated. Few people understand the dynamics of our family, and it’s hard, you know…” No. Too soon.
My heart raced. I wasn’t even sure… Oh. Who was I kidding? Denying it wouldn’t make it go away. “It’s hard deciding when and what to disclose to someone…” I couldn’t get the words out. I cleared my throat and tried again. “To someone I’m interested in.”
I took a shuddering breath, crossing my fingers that telling him that wouldn’t scare him off. Not when he seemed to take my having kids in stride. I didn’t dare look at him as I continued, “Evan. He’s my ex, and the twins’ dad. He and I decided from the beginning that when we split, we were going to raise our kids together. That we’d make it work, no matter what. And then when he and Bethany had three more, well, they became mine too, in a way that we could make it as official as possible.” It seemed only logical to explain Tammy to him as well, even though I didn’t want to heap more onto him. But she was as much a part of my life as Evan and Bethany were.
Adri stayed quiet for a long time when I was done.
“It’s too much, isn’t it?” Of course it was. Maybe he wasn’t interested in me in that way. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you if Quinn could sit with you.”
“No.” His shoulders tensed, then relaxed as he glanced at his tablet. “They were no bother. If anything, they remind me of… me. The drawing, and… I don’t like noise very much either.”
“I know.” I’d seen him twitch at loud conversations. “You don’t seem to mind the coffee machines, though.”
Adri’s sudden smile took my breath away. It softened his face and made his blue eyes shine even brighter.
“They’re soothing.” He seemed to zone out for a moment, then rose. “Sorry. I’ve got to go now. I need to rest before work. Thank you for telling me about your family.”
He was gone before I could reply.
That was twice now that he’d left so abruptly. He’d sounded sincere, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Ihadscared him away. Not just by telling him about my family, but by confessing I was interested in him.
Chapter Eleven
