Anna laughed to herself. It was such a Nia thing to say.
Probably not.
As the day drew to a close, Anna was frustrated. Davidhadn’t suggested a time, and he’d been in one meeting after another for the past couple of hours. She didn’t want to seem like she was just waiting around for him, despite the fact that that was exactly what she was doing. She went to the toilets, sprayed on some perfume and fixed her makeup, and all the time, she hated herself for it. He wouldn’t be making any effort for her, she was sure. But part of her had to go through with this. Had to know. Would he just want to catch up, because they’d been friends and colleagues once, as well as lovers? Or would he ask her to go back to his hotel room? And if he did, would she go? She thought she knew the answer but she wasn’t 100 per cent sure.
At six, he came to her desk and she didn’t look up straight away. When she did, she tried to conjure up an air ofOh yes, I’d forgotten all about meeting you.
‘Meetings,’ he said. ‘But I’m ready to go whenever you are. I’d kill for a good martini. Do you know somewhere?’
Anna did, and she led him there, past pubs with people spilling out onto the pavement. David lit a cigarette and offered her one. She shook her head. Did he remember she didn’t smoke? Was it just a reflex, offering her one? Or was he confusing her with someone else he’d been sleeping with?
At the bar she’d chosen, he held the door open for her. He put a hand on the small of her back and Anna felt she might come undone, there in the doorway of a cocktail bar in Soho. The warmth of him, the memory of him. She forced herself to stay upright, to go to the bar and order drinks. To find a table. To pretend this was any other day.
They drank three cocktails while chatting about work, andjust when Anna had stopped expecting it, David asked her something personal.
‘Did you leave New York because of me?’
‘Yes.’ Anna had had just enough to drink (combined with nothing to eat) to be honest.
David put his head in his hands. What was that supposed to mean?
‘And how are you faring, back in London? Are you happy?’
Always the question about being happy. No one was happy all the time, were they? How did you gauge how much happiness was enough?
‘I think so.’
‘Are you seeing anyone?’
‘No.’
A few years ago, she would have qualified that, said that she’d not long come out of a relationship. But now, she didn’t feel the need to.
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
‘Why sorry? I’m fine.’
‘Look, I think about you – about us – all the time. So I wondered…’
‘What? Whether we could have a fling while you’re over?’
David smiled and shook his head.
‘It isn’t like that, Anna. You and me, we were good together.’
They had been good together, in various ways. They’d made each other laugh, and they’d always found it easy to talk to each other. And she had loved him.
‘I need to go to the toilet,’ she said, pushing back her chair.
She stood in front of the mirror, and then before she could change her mind, she messaged Sarah.
I’m drinking cocktails with David.
Sarah’s response was quick, and Anna was grateful.
Go home.
Anna had known what Sarah would say, and yet seeing it there on her phone screen was reassuring, somehow.
