I snap my head back up. “Three?”
She nods, entirely too calm about this nightmare of a suggestion. “No dating, no relationships, no flings—just time to focus on you. Tomorrow is the first of June, so let’s say until the first of September.”
I gape at her. “You do realise what you’re saying, right? Three whole months?”That’s a lot of days without a dick. I need to buy more batteries on the way home.
She nods again, completely unbothered by my horror. “I think it’ll be good for you.”
“Define ‘good’.”
“You’ll have space to figure out what you actually enjoy, what makes you happy when you’re not trying to impresssomeone, and what you want your life to look like outside of a relationship.”
I huff. “Sounds boring.”
She chuckles. “And yet, I think you know I’m right.”
Ugh. Of course she’s right. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
“Alright,” I grumble. “Fine. Three months.”
Phyllis nods approvingly, like she just convinced me to save the world instead of banning me from my entire social life.
I squint at her. “What happens if I cheat?”
She shrugs. “You’re only cheating yourself.”
That is the most therapist answer I have ever heard in my life.
I groan and drag my hands down my face. “Three months,” I mutter again, as if saying it out loud will help me process the tragedy that has just befallen me.
“Until the first of September,” Pee-Pee confirms.
No dating. No flirting. No falling into yet another doomed situationship because I got bored on a Sunday afternoon.
I take a deep breath. “Fine. I’m in.”
“Good,” Phyllis says with a smile. “I’m looking forward to hearing what you do with all your extra time.”
I stare at her, horrified. “Oh my god, I’m going to have so much extra time.”
Pee-Pee laughs. “I think that’s exactly what you need.”
I groan again, standing up and grabbing my coat. “If I become one of those people who suddenly gets really into candle-making or hiking, it will be your fault.”
She grins. “I’ll take full responsibility.”
I mutter something about emotional sabotage under my breath as I head for the door.
Three months.
That’s not that long, right?
… Right?
3
Marketing Genius
Theo
