“It is temporary. Whatever this is, it is a meaningless side effect of our blood exchange that will wane with our separation.”
Meaningless. Her chest felt like it would crack in half. That was not the word she had in mind.Separation.She didn’t like that, either.
“I have never had a thrall myself or seen it done, Your Majesty, but if we were bound to each other—ifyou were my thrall—I wouldn’t have had to entrance you just then. Imagine me being able to do that to you, control you, with a mere whisper. I could command you to crawl to me from across a ballroom full of people, and you would obey. Without question.” He took her right hand and examined it. Turned it this way and that—and in that moment, his stern expression, that cold façade, broke.
Garin closed his eyes softly and cradled her palm in his hands before pressing his lips to her wrist. He inhaled, as if wanting to devote her scent to memory.
“There is no cost too great,” he said, and it took Lilac a breath to understand what he spoke of. He lowered their hands and reopened them. “I would save you in a heartbeat, one thousand times over, even if it meant risking making you my thrall and revoking what little, true freedom you have. Anything to keep you here, right here in front of me.” His gaze dipped to the pulse hammering in her throat. “To keep you breathing, thatharmonious heartbeat pulsing—just for me. Don’t you see why this is wrong? There is no cost too great. Forme. What then, are you to pay?”
She wanted to pull away from him but couldn’t bring herself to, and this time it had nothing to do with his sanguine magic. She didn’t care. She could rule from the inn, from this very room, with him.
He reached up and stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I want you to go home and consult with your council, with your parents, on everything regarding protecting your kingdom from France. Consider your options and your best propositions.”
There it was. Lilac ripped herself from him, but he caught her in a second, grip iron hard.
“There’s been a skirmish on your eastern borders, Lilac. Bastion has caught wind of it while you recovered.”
She froze, torn between anger at him for actually pushing her to marry and the need to know about her kingdom’s safety. “When?”
“Yesterday. Your father and his men are dealing with it as silently as possible, not wanting to draw attention to the fact you are not at home.”
She wasn’t thinking clearly—these were clear concerns to have, and sheshouldbe speeding home with all haste possible. But all she could focus on was that she would be dealing with everything without him.
That he would be here, without her.
As if reading her mind, Garin took a step back. “We’ll see each other again. We still have to deliver Kestrel’s chest, though it might be safer for Bastion and I to do it.”
She was so angry, she couldn’t see straight. “How is it so important to you that I keep my free will, yet you are ordering me to marry?”
“I am not ordering you, but I am urging you with my deepest wishes.”
“Oh,fuck off.”
“Whydo you refuse to marry? Help me understand.” Garin studied her, holding her at length. “You are the queen. You may have been able to avoid a Le Tallec betrothal, but do you really expect to remain unwed forever?” He shook his head uncomprehendingly. “This happens all the time—borders shift, armies jostle. Leaders must protect themselves.”
“You are no better than Henri,” she said, her ears burning. “Than Marguerite. If giving my life to someone I do not know is the fate that has befallen me,” she said, hoping every shaking word dug into Garin as hard asshe threw them, “then I will throw myself upon that blade when and how I see fit.You,of all people, will not order it done. How dare you!”
“Your marriage was bound to be transactional, was it not?” He exhaled, forcing himself to release her and keeping his distance. A tremor passed through his body before he continued. “You knew from the day of your birth that you would not have an ounce of true freedom, did you not? You are the wombed crown of a country with a small army and an abundance of trading ports. Are you blissfully unaware that you are one of the most underestimated pawns in the world? Did you think we would fuck and fancy each other, and society would change its mind on your eventual marriage because of your station?”
Lilac grabbed the empty candelabra from the mantle and chucked it at his head. He caught it and tossed it aside, sending it clanging into the corner of the room and leaving a sizable dent in the wall.
He took a small step toward her, and she shrugged her cloak further onto her shoulders, closing her body off to him. “Do you not study your own histories?”
“I have hadallthe time to study, Garin—that is all I’ve ever done with my life.” Her throat was tight as she thought of the ghosts and books that had kept her company and the friends she had now. She rubbed at the moisture brimming her eyes, drawn by pure loathing. “You cannot be upset with me for wishing to livemylife in a way that isn’t laid out in the histories. Times are changing and I intend with every fiber of my being to be part of it.”
“I am not upset. I am merely asking you to spend time at your castle, tending to the matters that are most important. I am asking you to wed, as is done in the order of your kingdom. Itwillkeep France at bay. It will dissuade their king. He is smart. He would gladly spend the minimal resources required to acquire a smaller kingdom like Brittany, but would not think to challenge larger, more equipped forces over your crown. Not now. Not after the war we fought against them with England.”
“There have been no propositions. It’s been weeks. No one will proposition me, not with my history and the legend surrounding our kingdom.”
“But there will be. Your kingdom has too much to offer for trade, and agriculture. And you…” He closed the space between them and slid his fingers between hers, not bothering with slowness or gentleness. “Anyone—king, commoner, Daemon—should be ready and willing to offer you their hand and aid.”
“And you?” Her voice was barely audible.
“I will be there. To protect you, to advise you when warranted?—”
A confusing burst of hope unfurled in her chest, but the desperation in his eyes gave him away.
“You’ll be there?” she said, unable to shed the mocking edge to her tone.
