‘She supports me,’ he said softly. ‘But at the same time, she is worried about my father. I do not know how shewould cope if something happened to him. He is her whole life.’
‘She has you,’ I said. ‘You are her life, too.’
And then Gabriele reached out and put his hands on my shoulders, running his smooth hands along the lengths of my arms.
‘It feels good to talk to someone about this,’ he said softly. ‘Thank you for listening. I have a tendency to keep things inside, but with you… I don’t know. You make it easy to speak the truth about how I feel.’
His stare seemed to penetrate deep inside me.
Slowly, my hands went to his waist, almost of their own accord, as though they had a mind of their own. I slipped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. I knew what it felt like to face sacrificing everything you’d ever dreamed of to please your family. And it was worse for Gabriele; he was an only child – at least I could convince myself that my sisters would be there to help out if I wasn’t, even if that wasn’t quite the reality of how our family functioned. I wanted to hold him, to let him know that everything would be all right, that he wasn’t the terrible person he probably sometimes thought he was.
As we backed into the shadows, Gabriele gripped me tighter and tighter, pressing his forehead against mine, guiding me into a doorway, hiding us from any fellow tourists who might decide to wander past. He moved his hands to my face, cupping my jaw, looking into my eyes as though he was wrestling with a decision. I knew what it was,because I felt it, too. Only this morning I’d promised my mum that there was nothing happening between Gabriele and I, but I’d been lying to her, and lying to myself.
‘Here we are again…’ I whispered.
He ran the tip of his tongue across my lips, parting them. I let him do what he wanted, closing my eyes, letting my body react, acutely aware of every single delicious sensation as he kissed me harder, deeper, losing myself in the warmth of his mouth. My body shuddered as he ran his palms under the hem of my dress, stroking my inner thighs with his thumbs. He made me feel so beautiful, so desired, and it had always been that way between us. Under his gaze, his touch, I felt like the best version of myself, completely uninhibited, free to express anything that came into my mind in that moment.
‘Not here,’ I said, knowing that kissing him wasn’t going to be enough, not tonight.
He hesitated, kissed me once more and then he nodded and took my hand.
Back at the hotel, we stumbled out of the lift.
‘Come to my room,’ he said. ‘It is closer.’
He had the key to his room ready, tapping it hard against the pad as I wrapped my arms around him from behind, burying my face in his back.
‘Hurry,’ I said.
He slammed the key onto the pad again. ‘Why do hotel keys refuse to work for me?!’ he growled in frustration.
I prised it out of his hand and tried it myself; the handle turned first time.
‘You have the magic touch,’ he said, falling inside the room and pulling me with him.
Before I could think or even speak, he took a step towards me, his lips crashing into mine. All that mattered was being here with him and surrendering myself to the sensations that were coursing through my veins now that we were finally alone, our tongues slipping effortlessly and deliciously in and out of each other’s mouths. He lifted me up again, like he had that night in his dressing room, cupping me underneath as I wrapped my legs around his waist, carrying me the few steps to the bed. I grabbed a fistful of his hair, tugging it gently as he lowered me onto the mattress, easing himself on top of me.
‘What are you doing to me, Lira?’ he asked, running his finger from my chin, down the centre of me, until it was between my legs again, where I wanted it most. I moaned with pleasure, grappling with the zip of his trousers, desperate to push them off his hips, making him help me when they weren’t coming off fast enough. Once he’d removed them, he kneeled half-naked in front of me and peeled off my own underwear, flinging it across the room.
‘How are you so beautiful?’ he asked, sliding back up onto the bed and lowering himself on top of me, our lips almost touching.
I gasped with pleasure as his groin made contact with mine.
‘Yes…’ I moaned softly.
I could feel how hard he was and it thrilled me to know how much I turned him on, just as he did me. There was no doubt that he wanted me as much as I wanted him, and it gave me the sort of power I’d never felt in bed before – the power to let go, to do whatever came naturally.
‘Take off my dress,’ I commanded him,
He did as he was told, sliding the crepe silk fabric over my head. I was wearing only my bra now, and within seconds he’d pushed it aside, revealing my breasts, his mouth dipping to take first one then the other nipple in his mouth.
‘This feels so good,’ I said, reaching behind me and unclipping my bra myself so that I was completely and utterly exposed to him, so that he could see every inch of my body. I shivered at the thought of what he might do with it.
Palming my breasts, he raised his head, his eyes burning into me as we looked at each other, deeply connected. In his hand he held a condom. I had no idea where it had come from and I didn’t care. My bones felt like they were turning to liquid as he tore it open. The second it was on, he was between my legs, hard, insistent, guiding himself inside me. Closing my eyes, I let my knees fall open, crying out instinctively, feeling as though I could scream and it wouldn’t be enough of a release.
‘Jesus,’ he said, as my body began to move to his rhythm, his breath coming in ragged bursts. ‘Jesus, Lira.’
Afterwards, we lay in bed, wrapped up in each other’s arms. For the first time since seeing Gabriele again, I felt relaxed enough to let myself drift off to sleep, enjoying the rise and fall of his smooth chest underneath my cheek. The room felt warm and heady, the sounds of Barcelona floating through the open window, delicious smells from the restaurant across the street lingering in the air. Somewhere there was music, too – flamenco – and I couldn’t help thinking that there was nowhere else I’d rather be at this precise moment in time, and nobody I would rather be with.
