‘She’s clearly in love with him,’ said Luca, flinging himself into a chair and watching me lay out my make-up and hair products for later. ‘And you’re making her insanely jealous.’
I laughed softly to myself. ‘I don’t think anyone’s ever been jealous of me in my life.’
‘Rubbish,’ said Luca. ‘You’re beautiful and you know it. And so does Gabriele.’
‘He doesn’t.’
‘Oh so that’s why he looks at you like he wants to rip your clothes off, is it?’
‘That’s hatred you’re picking up on, not desire.’
‘I know what I see,’ said Luca infuriatingly. ‘Come on, you can tell me, we’re friends now. You’ve slept together, right?’
I bit my lip. I desperately wanted to tell someone, to say the words out loud, to hear the opinion of another person instead of listening only to the relentlessly punishing voice in my head.
‘Ages ago. We were kids,’ I said.
There. It was out there now. I was almost too scared to look in the mirror because I would see Luca’s facial expression reflected back at me and I would be able to tell what he thought of it all. And Luca was the kind of guy who said it as it was.
‘Knew it! And there’s something more recent. Isn’t there?!’ he demanded to know.
‘No.’
‘Do not lie to me, Lira James. No couple has that much of a connection on stage without shagging, or at least wanting to.’
I sighed, checking over my shoulder. For all I knew, somebody could be skulking around outside, and if one of Daniella’s henchwomen overheard, the entire cast wouldknow all there was to know about mine and Gabriele’s sex life – or lack thereof – within minutes.
‘Fine. We kissed. A few days ago.’
‘And now what?’
‘And now I’m trying not to do it again.’
Luca sat up straight in his chair. ‘What’s stopping you?’
I turned to face him. ‘Isn’t it obvious?’
‘Er, not really?’ said Luca, looking genuinely perplexed.
‘Daniella said we shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.’
‘Probably not, but everyone does. We’re dancers – who else are we going to meet if not each other? Also, I wouldn’t necessarily listen to anything Daniella has to say – she has an ulterior motive, as discussed.’
‘Also, Gabriele is hardly the relationship type. There’s no point in us having some casual fling that will only make things awkward afterwards.’
‘Has he actually said that’s all he wants?’ asked Luca.
He didn’t have to. It was obvious, wasn’t it? ‘Not in so many words.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t make assumptions, Lira. I don’t know himthatwell,’ said Luca, getting up to leave, ‘but he seems like a bit of a deep, sensitive soul to me. If he’s not into relationships, it’s probably because he hasn’t met the right person.’
‘Hmmm,’ I said.
‘Better go and get ready for the light check,’ said Luca. ‘But, Lira, maybe it’s worth taking a risk? What’s theworst that could happen if you let things take their natural course?’
I shuddered. ‘I dread to think.’
I watched Luca leave the dressing room and turned back to look at myself in the mirror. Did he have a point? I’d never really thought of Gabriele being sensitive before, but what if underneath all of that confidence and bravado there was someone more vulnerable, someone who was just as scared of falling in love as I was? I thought briefly of the moments after we’d slept together in Paris. He’d fallen asleep with me tangled in his arms, and even as he’d drifted off, his breath slowing and softening, I remember noticing that he didn’t loosen his hold on me. I’d never felt like that after sex before, so contented, so safe, sowanted. He hadn’t seemed like a womanizer then, but he was only twenty-one; perhaps he’d grown into it. In fact, if I thought about it, it had been me who’d set a precedent that this was simply a casual hook-up, not him. I’d known we were only destined to be together for one night, or at least IthoughtI’d known, and as a result, there had been none of the usualwill we or won’t we see each other again? We wouldn’t, and that was that.
