It was because he did not want it.
He would be crushed under the burden of the crown, and he had known it for some time. He wanted to raise cattle and watch it graze on a sunlit hill. He wanted a cottage at the edge of a forest. He wanted birdsong and the flutter of butterflies and the buzzing of bees to be the music he woke up to each morning. He wanted to work the land and cut the woods and make furniture with his own two hands in the evenings.
The mere thought of it made him relax.
They finished their meal without talking more on the subject of mating bonds. Ewan did not think any more of keys in locks. And when they were done and had said goodnight, he steered his feet to the place he had focused on instead: the castle forest.
It stretched out across the castle grounds, the trunks of its pine trees ancient and shifting between silver gray and terracotta due to their different colored bark. It continued beyond the inner wall of the citadel, between the houses of its residence, stretching on and on into the very heart of the kingdom. It was older than Ewan’s bloodline and wandering through it always made him feel connected to the place beyond his heritage. It grounded him, made him feel as though he belonged because of who he was, not what title he bore.
He breathed in the evening air, a little chilly as fall was fast approaching. He breathed out, closing his eyes.
Love.
He’d never thought of it. He satisfied himself with the women who made his bed and stoked his fire. They had never been unwilling but seemed rather thrilled to pleasure their prince. He had taken one or two more than once, without granting them any other favor, worried that they would grow attached. He didn’t believe he had broken any hearts, that they knew the deal when they entered his bed.
But love?
He had never felt love.
At least he did not think he had.
He glanced up at where he knew the lady’s windows were situated, wondering if she was there, looking back at him.
His stomach swooped and he turned, walking between the trees to make her windows disappear from sight.
To hide yourself away.
He wasnothiding.
She did not scare him.
He paused, looked back at her windows, then came to a decision.
He steered his feet back to the wide terrace leading back into the castle. He did not know what he was going to say to her, but he wanted to confront her about what she had said earlier. What she had accused him of. He had worked very hard to put safety measures in place and no harm would come to her while she was within the borders of Rogoros. She needed to know this. Heneededher to acknowledge it.
The fact that she also seemed a solution to the conundrum currently plaguing him was, of course, the farthest thing from his mind.
***
He didn’t bother knocking. If she was going to spend most of her time naked while in private, then she would have to get used to her rooms not being her own property. She would have to make certain that, should she not want to be ogled, she should be wearing clothing. Not just undergarments, proper clothing. At all times.
He breezed through the drawing room, up to her bedroom door, which was standing ajar. He put one hand against it, pushing it open. It creaked gently, making the single candle burning on the dresser flutter excitedly. In opposition to its mistress, who stood still as a statue by the window. Had she seen him? He drew a breath to ask if she was by that window spying on him, but then thought the question a childish one and instead said, “Did you enjoy your dinner?”
“Yes, thank you,” she said, not looking at him.
He disliked the need to yank her away from the window, grab her upper arms, force her to acknowledge him. He’d never felt such an overwhelming urge to make another person do what he wanted them to do. Then again, she had proverbially stabbed him in the back in Fawha. Perhaps the urge was anchored in a wish to check for more knives.
He stayed by the door.
He hadn’t come to her rooms to subjugate her.
“There are guards around the citadel,” he said. “Guards along each wall, posted in every watchtower. They’re there all day and all night. We have eyes in the skies as well. Skilled fliers who keep watch on the surrounding terrain and report back if anything were to look suddenly suspicious.”
“Or if an army was to come marching,” she said, turning to face him.
“Yes, that as well,” he acquiesced. His gaze drifted to the cold fireplace. “You have no fire,” he observed gently.
Soft blue light glimmered in her veins, her inner dragon responding to that statement. Summoning her dragon fire was all she could do. No dragon could shift within the castle walls, as was tradition and the dictate of powerful spell work.
