What could I have possibly done this time? Did he hear my conversation with Jake? Is he mad at me for not going to homecoming?
A server arrives with our food, and I try to push Cooper’sscowl to the back of my mind as the night turns into laughter and chatter. Over the next hour, Jake makes a show of bouncing back, sucking down three milkshakes and cracking jokes. But I get the sense he’s just putting on a front, and it makes my stomach twist with guilt.
The diner grows louder as more post-game groups arrive, and everyone is having a good time. Slug asks out a sophomore he meets at the jukebox. Asher shows up and sits next to Sloane and Preeti, and when “Party in the USA” comes on, he stands on his chair and sings along. Sooneveryoneis laughing and belting the lyrics. Everyone except me. Because I can’t get out of my own head. I know how important this interview is, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about skipping out on Jake.
I excuse myself and weave through the crowd on the way to the bathroom, desperate for a few minutes alone, somewhere that I don’t have to plaster on a smile and pretend I’m not reeling about disappointing my friend.
I lock myself in a stall and let out a deep breath as I lean against the wall, taking a moment to decompress. My phone buzzes, and I dig it out of my pocket to find an Instagram notification—Fern’s latest post, showcasing a new dumpling place in Chinatown. I’m suddenly so homesick for our Thursday night dinners at Nom Wah that tears prick at the back of my eyes. I tap the heart on her photo, and I can’t help but notice I’m the eight thousandth like. For some reason it makes me feel even more disconnected from her.
I try to shake off my worry that our friendship won’t endure the distance between us, and I send her a DM letting her knowI’m coming home this weekend. I slide my phone back into my pocket, unlock the door, and head back out to my friends.
But as I’m leaving the women’s restroom, I run into Cooper heading toward the men’s.
He stops in the hallway in front of me, and I wait for him to say something. When he doesn’t, I give him a close-lipped smile and step around him because, honestly, he hasn’t acknowledged me for the last hour, and I already feel shitty enough without having to worry about what his problem is.
But just as I’m passing him, he says, “How could you do that?”
I stop and turn to him. “How could I do what?”
“Cancel on him like that? The night before the dance.” He shakes his head. “Don’t you see how messed up that is?”
“I didn’t have a choice. My meeting—”
“You always have a choice. You say, ‘Actually, I have homecoming that night. Can we meet next weekend?’?”
“It’s not that simple.” My dad would have died on the spot if I’d said that. Putting a dance before a Columbia meeting? Ridiculous. And what if rescheduling meant losing the meeting altogether?
“It is. And worse, you don’t even seem to feel bad about it.”
“Of course I do. It’s just… this is important, Cooper.”
“So is Jake!” he snaps. His cheeks turn pink, and he lowers his voice. “Helikesyou. Don’t you get that? He’s a good guy, and he was so pumped about you saying you’d go with him. He blew up the group chat for days about it.”
“You don’t understand.” My voice breaks, and I’m afraid if I say any more, I might start crying.
He shakes his head. “It’s a shitty thing to do, Ellis.”
I stand there, pressing my lips together to keep my chin from trembling, hating the way he’s looking at me.
“And yet it’s not surprising,” he says before carrying on and pushing through the bathroom door.
My stomach clenches. I don’t want to be here anymore. I take a few breaths before heading over to Sloane.
“I’m going to walk back,” I tell her once I reach the table.
“Why? What’s wrong?” she asks.
“Nothing. I’m just tired.” I give her my best fake smile, emulating Dad’s Work Smile.
Jake ends his conversation with Slug mid-sentence and turns to me. “You’re going? I’ll walk you home.”
“No, stay. Eat. Have fun,” I tell him. I feel guilty enough as it is.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“Yeah. I’m really sorry again about homecoming.”
“Don’t worry about it. You’ll make it up to me later,” he says with a wink.
