I should walk out.Iwantto walk out. I even got as far as the door this time.
But my feet wouldn’t move. My fingers curled tighter around the door handle, knuckles turning pale as if they knew the lie I was about to tell myself.
Because the truth was—I didn’t want to leave.
I wanted to be angry. Iwasso angry.
But beneath all that fury was this hollow, aching fear that if I left now, I’d never be able to come back.
He stirred slightly, fingers twitching against the sheets like he was reaching for me in his sleep. Even unconscious, he felt my absence.
And it undid me.
I leaned my head against the doorframe, chest tight.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
My throat burned, like my body was trying to choke down all the ways I still loved him, and it felt like forcing down vomit.
Was I weak for staying?
Doubt: Oh, absolutely.
I closed my eyes, sucked in a shaky breath, and let go of the handle. I walked back to the bed, my mind screaming to protect myself and honor my boundaries. My heart…? My heart was already crawling back beneath the sheets.
He shifted again as I climbed in beside him. His eyes fluttered, not quite open, but enough to register I was there. His arm moved on instinct, sliding around me like he hadn’t realized I’d been gone.
“Sweetness?” he mumbled, voice heavy with sleep.
I didn’t answer. Instead, I lay still. Eyes open. Chest rising in time with his.
His breathing slowed again, deep and steady. And I just listened.
Fuck it.
“You’ve created a weakness in me, Theodore,” I whispered.
His brow twitched faintly, but he didn’t open his eyes, so I kept going.
“After everything you’ve done, I should be on that plane back to New York. I’ve left men for less. But instead, I’m in bed with you.”
His eyes blinked open slowly, locking on mine. His voice was still rough from sleep, but there was no mistaking the sincerity.
“And I really appreciate you staying,” he said. “Despite everything. For giving us a chance to work on this.”
I scoffed quietly. “I’m pathetic.”
“No, you’re not.” He sat up slightly. “You want this to work as much as I do.”
I sat up, pulling the sheet around me. “Do you, though? I don’t think you understand how all of this affects me. I’m embarrassed, Theo. I’m exhausted. I’m hurt.Stillhurting.”
