I knew it wasn’t.And the part of me that still buzzed from his kiss was now quiet with disappointment.
“I think it’s for the best,” I went on, forcing some logic into my voice. “I’m tired anyway. I need a shower, and he’s taking me out to dinner tonight, so he probably has something planned. Romantic, hopefully.”
Izzy raised a brow. “Ouuuu, maybe you’ll get some after dinner.”
“God, I fucking hope so,” I said, flopping back on the bed with a groan. “I need some dick badly.”
Alyssa made a face. “Ew! Carmen, that’s mybrotheryou’re talking about.”
“Sorry, Aly,” I laughed. “But it’s true. I need it. My fingers ain’t cutting it anymore, y’know.”
Jayda snorted. “Same here.”
Izzy turned toward her on the screen. “Wait. Why aren’t you getting any, Jayda?”
Jayda’s face immediately flattened. “Because Ty’s new agent bitch has him doing all this press tour bullshit, so he’s barely home! Says it’s good for exposure.”
Alyssa tilted her head. “That’s good, though… right?”
Jayda rolled her eyes so hard I thought they might fall out. “Tuh. The only thing that bitch wants him exposed to is herpussy.”
I choked so hard I had to sit up.
“He can’t understand that, though,” she went on with a dramatic sigh, “and I’m tired of fighting about it. So it’s fuck him and Finger City for me.”
Alyssa winced. “God. Well, I’m celibate, so at least I’m dickless by choice.”
Izzy huffed, adjusting her camera as her toddler’s head popped into frame. “Well, Darius is in his terrible twos. And me being a stay-at-home mom while Darwin’s working overtime means the sex life is nonexistent. I’m so busy I don’t even get the luxury of fingers. I’m lucky if I can get a moment alone with my shower head—Put that down!”
She suddenly disappeared off-screen as Darius made a mad dash for something, her voice trailing off mid-sentence.
I smiled to myself, still holding the phone up. “Remind me to thank Theo for that vasectomy.”
“Girl…” Jayda wheezed.
“I’m serious. This is the most peace of mind I’ve had in years. This trip is gonna be so slutty. No need for Plan B’s. No pregnancy tests. No late period panic. Just dick and vibes.”
Alyssa groaned. “You’re so nasty.”
“Thank you!” I grinned.
I looked around the room. Flowers. Banners. Fancy perfume gift sets lined up in a basket labeledWelcome Home, My Love.
It was everything. And it still wasn’t enough to distract from the elephant in the room. Or rather, the lack of my man in it.
I should’ve been more annoyed. But instead, I just felt… lonely.
“But of course, that is whenever he decides to actually take me to Fuck City,” I sighed.
“Carmen, normal people say Pound Town,” Jayda corrected.
Alyssa rolled her eyes. “Actually, normal people don’t talk about this shit in front of their boyfriend’s sister.”
“Girl, you’re my friend too,” I reminded her. “And I’d talk about this in front of God. I don’t give a damn. We all deserve dick!”
That made them both laugh, but I was serious.
Is this what our lives have become?
