His words land like a punch to the gut, punching through my brain louder than they should, and jealousy hits me like a bad landing, leaving my teeth rattling and body stunned.
Of course, he wants to be friends with Greer.
Always calm, always composed, Finn Greer. He’s the kind of guy you let into your life without thinking twice.
I should know because I did, too, and maybe that’s what eats at me most. I might know how to make people laugh, distract them, seduce them, or make noise, but Greer getsspace next to him while warming up without pushing between.He getsa seat on the bus.I can easily imagine the casual talks and laughs shared between them.
I don’t get any of that.
And fuck, that image of Greer driving withPetitCrews in the passenger seat. Maybe asleep, maybe curled up in a hoodie, maybe trusting him with more than just directions.
I hate that image and how easy it is to picture, hate how it makes me feel, even though some part of me knows it’s bullshit, especially based on how tiredPetitseems.
“Why?” I blurt before I can stop myself.
He frowns. “Why what?”
“Whythem?” My skin warms, the outrage mounting. “Why can you be friends withPayneand Greer but not with me?”
His jaw ticks. “Neither of them is my friend.”
I blink, thrown off by his quick denial. “Seriously?”
“I don’t do friends.”
We stare at each other for a beat in the wake of that admission, and my mind whirls.
Ah.So it’s not me? It’s probably not even them, either.
Petitis the problem. I didn’t see that coming, didn’t even consider it an option. He either doesn’t know how to let people in or maybe doesn’t believe he deserves to.
I file this new information away.
“Well,” I say, feeling almost normal for the first time in days, like a weight has been lifted. One that, if I had to guess, probably weighs barely more than fifty kilograms. “I guess I’ll just hang around and annoy you until you change your mind, then.”
That earns me a twitch of his mouth. Not a smile, exactly, but he doesn’t immediately say no, which I take as permission.
He starts walking again, and keeping my word, I fallinto step beside him. The gravel crunches under our boots as we head toward the trees, leaving behind the noise of the camps and the clatter of wrenches and egos.
“What are we even doing here?” I ask after a while, looking around.
“I’mgetting some fresh air. You’re justhanging around annoying me.”
He needed fresh air?
He really isn’t okay.
We are alone, with no teammates, no audience, just me and the most confusing rider on the circuit, which gives me a chance for some real talk, to ask what’s up with him. I don’t really know shit about him, but the truth is I want to.
Except, he wouldn’t tell me, would he?
The least I can do is try to get that sadness out of his eyes.
“You know,” I start, glancing sideways at his hooded profile. “If you’re going to keep being allergic to actual conversation, I’m going to have to start filling in the blanks myself.”
He doesn’t respond, obviously, so I keep my word again.
I’m honorable like that.
