“Vegas,” Everett repeated. “Our Gideon?”
I laughed. “Yeah. He was in town for a college friend’s bachelor party, and he picked me up at a hotel bar. Or I picked him up. It’s a contested subject.” I found myself smiling a bit, remembering Gideon and me debating it… in bed together.
“Okay, now I seriously need to know more.”
“Well…” Normally I hated even thinking about this shit, let alone talking about it. I hated remembering Gideon’s face or the time we’d spent together. I hated even mentioning hisname. But now, sitting with someone who knew him, knowing I’d get to see him for two more nights, remembering came easily.
“Okay, so I was in Vegas for a weekend doing a photoshoot of interesting sunrise and sunset landscapes.” I shrugged. “They wanted backgrounds for an ad campaign for watches.”
Everett nodded.
“I hardly ever got jet lagged, but that particular trip, I’d been up all night, and then I’d slept all day, so I was groggy even though it was six in the evening. And on top ofthatI wasdehydratedbecause I’d been out in the desert. So I’m sitting at the bar, getting a drink and a snack, minding my own business, and just… suffice it to say, I was notremotelydown to fuck, even if Idris Elba had walked into the bar and begged me, you know?” I paused, considering. “Okay, maybe if he’d begged.”
He grinned. “Sure. Allowances must be made.”
I nodded. “So anyway, this guy sits down on the stool next to me—like,rightnext to me, even though the place was half empty, getting all up in my personal space, and I’m thinking this is justweirdbecause how the hell would he even know I was into guys, you know?”
“Right!”
“So I turned to gooffon him for being a presumptuous asshole, and…zing.”
“Zing?” Everett looked amused.
“Yeah. Just… I don’t know what sound two magnets make when they align toward each other, but I imagine it sounds a lot likezing.”
Everett’s smile widened. “And then what?”
“We went up to my room. Worlds were rocked, lives were changed.”
“Wow. When you were still half-asleep and dehydrated?”
“That’s the thing,” I said slowly. “I wasn’t. From the moment I looked at him, I was wide awake. And I don’t just mean physically. I just… I’d never been more… myself.”
“Really.” Everett sounded a little skeptical. “That fast?”
I shrugged. “You know how there’s always a certain level ofeffortwhen you first hook up with a guy? You laugh atallthe jokes, even the ones that aren’t funny? And things feel nice, obviously, but like, ten percent of your brain isn’t quite there because it’s busy obsessing that your breath isn’t fresh enough and you haven’t spent enough time at the gym?”
“Highly relatable, yes.”
I nodded once. “There was none of that with Gideon. Not a single minute of wondering what he was thinking or wondering if it was good for him. No thinkingperiod. It was like I could read his mind, or maybe he could read mine, because he gave me all the words I needed before I even knew I needed them, and everything felt so—” I broke off, shaking my head.
“Zing?” Ev supplied.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Exactly.”
“And?”
“And we got married. By Elvis. As one does.” I shook my head. “I’m making it sound stupid, but at the time I… I loved him. I don’t think… I mean, I didn’t really consider in that moment if it was the kind of love that would last until the end oftime, but… I didn’t have much that was mine back then. My parents liked to think of themselves as nomads, and they raised me and my sister to be the same. I traveled light. I didn’t have a lot of people or places I was attached to. But with him, it wasn’t a choice, really.”
“You justwereattached.”
“Yeah.” I blew out a breath. “Anyway. I’ve got like thirty minutes until Micah and Con arrive, and you need to get back to the school, so…”
“No way!” Everett said. “No no no, you can’t leave me hanging.Thenwhat?”
“Then…”Thenthe phone rang in the drawn-curtain darkness of our bedroom, and I was alone and completely unprepared for the voice on the other end.
ThenI was hopping around the room trying to find my clothes, suitcase, shoes, and wallet in thedarkbecause adrenaline leaves no room for logical choices like opening the curtains or turning on a light.
