“Oh, hey!” Jamie said, his brown eyes unnaturally wide. “Gideon, don’tyouhave a whole bunch of extra room at your place?”
Subtle as a fucking sledgehammer.
“Thanks for the burger,Secret Agent Santa,” I said through clenched teeth. I tossed a twenty-dollar bill on the bar. “You ready, Hazel Grace?”
She nodded and grabbed my hand to jump down from the bar stool.
“You could always check with Jules and Daniel!” Jamie called after us. “The apartment above the vet clinic might be free!”
* * *
“Snakes.” I eyed the oversized blond from across the table at Goode’s Diner. “Really.”
Liam and I were squashed into one side of a tiny booth, and even though we were making a concerted effort not to touch, the man smelled more delicious than anything on Goode’s menu.
Fortunately, the web of bullshit Daniel was spinning made a half-decent distraction.
“Yep. Freakiest thing. This giant boa constrictor got into the…” Daniel waved a finger at the ceiling. “What do you call it?”
“Heating ducts?” Liam suggested.
Daniel pointed at him excitedly. “Exactly.Yes. Heating ducts. And then, um… it laid eggs. And they hatched. And now we’re overrun.” He shrugged broadly. “Too bad, because I’d’ve loved to offer you two a place to stay, Liam.”
Liam nodded, and his arm rubbed against mine. Even through his sweater and my jacket, I was hyper aware of the heat of his skin.
Have you ever been attracted to someone you have every reason to dislike?
Let me give you the CliffsNotes. It fucking sucked.Possibly even more than having snakes in your heating ducts.
Hazel looked up from her ice cream sundae and frowned at the man beside her. “But boa constrictors are a type of snake that gives birth to live babies. I saw it on a documentary once.”
“Oh, did I say a boa constrictor?” Daniel scratched his cheek with one finger. “Silly me. I meant a… um…viper?” He took a sip of his coffee, apparently unconcerned.
“Wait. Wait wait wait,” Liam said, shaking his head. “You have a venomous snake in your HVAC—”
“Multiple venomous snakes,” I corrected helpfully.
“Yes! Thank you.” Liam nodded once in my direction. “Multiplevenomous snakes in your HVAC system? That’s… unbelievable.”
“Literally,” I said. But then again, Daniel was a novelist, so this was hardly surprising.
Daniel nodded solemnly. “I can scarcely believe it myself. But then, truth is stranger than fiction, right?”
“Not always,” I said darkly.
The diner door opened, a black-haired man strolled in, and I lifted a hand in greeting. “Jules! Come join us. We were just talking about you and your problem.”
“Ah, crap,” Daniel said under his breath.
“Hey, guys!” Julian unwound the scarf from his neck and leaned over Hazel’s head to give his boyfriend a kiss. He smiled broadly at Liam. “You must be Gideon’s hus… guest. His guest.”
“Nice save, baby,” Daniel said approvingly. “Did you get Parker’s text?”
“Sure did!” Julian smiled harder. “Yeah, Parker told me about your situation. Gosh darn it, I would just love to have you stay at our apartment, if not for our devastating lizard problem!”
“Lizards?” Liam said, looking from Julian to Daniel. “I thought you saidvipers.”
“Vipers?” Julian said, staring at Daniel in horror. “What?”
