“While you finish yoursecondtreat in twenty minutes,” I said pointedly. “Before you’ve eaten dinner. On this road trip. Where you’re missing two days of school.” I smiled. “And as someone brilliant once reminded me,fair is fair.”
She rolled her eyes and licked her green lips. “Fine. I’m gonna sit here and send my Christmas list to Santawith my mind.”
“Oooh. You do that.”
I turned back to Gideon and didn’t allow myself more than a second to take a deep breath and smooth down my sweater before I walked in his direction.Hard things need to be done quickly, I reminded myself.Rip off the Band-Aid.
Santa Hat watched me approach and shot me a friendly smile over Gideon’s shoulder, but Gideon stood stiffly like the only way he could keep from bolting was through not moving at all.
I couldn’t help noticing all sorts of shit about him I wished I could ignore. Like the fact that he was taller than I remembered. And that he definitely had more salt in his salt-and-pepper hair than the last time I’d seen him in person. And that the way he held himself—the stiffness to his posture, even when talking to his friend—was more guarded than I remembered.
I wondered if I’d caused that change, and the thought made my chest tight.
I stood near his elbow and cleared my throat. “Uh. Hey.”
Gideon didn’t turn around.
Off to a great start.
I licked my lips. Did I just drop the words like a bomb and force him to look at me?Hey! Happy holidays! Feel like signing some divorce papers?
Did I ask how he’d been, or would that be weird?
Would it be weirder if Ididn’task?
Would it be harder to walk away if I knew? Or if I didn’t know?
The time we’d spent together five years ago could be measured inhours, and yet I couldn’t recall a single second of awkwardness; we’d been all-in from the first glance. Now, I couldn’t manage to sayhellowithout fucking overthinking it.
Santa Hat grinned widely and reached around Gideon’s immobile form to offer his hand. “Hey. I’m Parker Hoffstraeder. Gideon’s friend. You’re Liam?”
I shook the hand he offered robotically. “Uh. Yeah. Liam McKnight. I’m, um…Gideon’s…” I rubbed the back of my neck as I considered how to finish that.Shit.I hadn’t told anyone about Gideon. Had Gideon told anyone about me? Without seeing his face, I had no clue. So, what the hell did I say?
His friend? His acquaintance? A guy he’d fucked so perfectly that I hadn’t had a lover in five goddamn years because Gideon had said he owned my ass, and some part of me still believed him?
Probably not good to start off with that last one.
“You’re Gideon’s husband!” Parker finished cheerfully. “Yeah, he just told me!”
Andthatseemed to break through Gideon’s stony façade at last.
“Shut your damn mouth,” he hissed at Parker, looking around the bakery like he wondered who might have overheard.
So, yeah, clearly I was a secret… orhad been, anyway. At Parker’s outburst, practically everyone in the bakery had turned to look at us with expressions of curiosity and surprise.
Gideon grasped my elbow and dragged me to an empty-ish corner in the back of the room. He maneuvered me so I was against the wall and he was blocking me in, like maybe if he couldn’t see the dozen people staring atus, maybe they couldn’t seehim. Then he lifted his gold-brown eyes to mine.
Shit.Shit. I really,reallyshould have come up with a script.
“So. Hi,” I said. “You look”—I licked my lips—“good.”
Understatement.
Also, completely beside the point.
“Liam, what thefuckare you doing here?” he demanded.
For a second, I wished I could say anything but what I needed to say. But then I caught sight of Hazel sitting by the window, dragging a finger through the frosting on her cookie and licking it off happily, and I remembered why whatIwanted didn’t matter anymore.
