The conversation halted for a second and I looked around the room at the various groups of O’Learians making polite chit-chat.
“How’s Daniel?” she finally asked, drawing my attentionback.
“He’s good. Busy.” With something he’d never specified and I didn’t feel comfortable asking himabout.
For once, I had no desire to talk or think about Daniel. I felt like I’d done nothing all afternoon but spin my wheels mentally, wondering what I’d said that made things so awkward in the kitchen this morning, and then questioning whether thingshadbeen awkward or if I’d imagined the feelingentirely.
“That’s nice.” She toyed with the end of her long, dark braid, and I noticed a few more lines of grey running through it. “I know I didn’t make a very good impression on him lastweek.”
Isnorted.
“I’m sorry,” she continued. “I know I told you that the other day on thephone.”
“You said, ‘I’m sorry,but,’” I reminded her. “‘I’m sorry,butI don’t want to see you make a mistake, Julian.’ An apology doesn’t contain abut.”
“You’re right.” She looked at me steadily. “I was wrong about that, too.” She blew out a breath. “I talked to Constantine earlier today, I told you. He gave me alecture.”
“Con? Lectured you?” I couldn’t imagine him doing that. I couldn’t imagine her takingit.
She smiled ruefully. “It was unexpected. But then, maybe I don’t know my sons as well as I think I do. I still think of Constantine as the same angry boy he used to be. I think of you as the same quiet boy you used to be, the same young man who needed to apologize to the world for a few words you spoke to your father inanger.”
I held up a hand. “I don’t want to talk aboutthat.”
She nodded slowly. “Alright. The point is, Constantine isn’t the same boy. He’s a thoughtful young man now. One with a good heart. Still a little wild at times, of course.” She smiled, briefly. “But he reminded me that you’re not a boy anymore either. Whatever choices you make, they’re yours now. I can’t… shield you from things anymore. And if I try, I’m not going to protect you, I’ll end up holding youback.”
“Constantine said that? My brotherConstantine?”
“Not exactly that,” she allowed. “I think his exact words were, ‘Stop giving Julian shit about Daniel. He’s a grown man, and he knows what the fuck he’sdoing.’”
I blinked. “And what didyousay?”
“I told him to stop using filthy language,” she said, like this was the most obvious thing, and I supposed it was. “And then I told him he was right. I need to stop pressuring you to live life the way I want youto.”
“Huh.”
“So if you don’t want to finish the romance novel, you don’t haveto.”
I smirked. “I don’t mind reading the romance novel,” Iadmitted.
“Really?”
“I need to find out how Lady Madelynne gets on with her barbarian, don’tI?”
“You can be sure she earns herself a happy ending, Julian.” She cupped my cheek gently with her palm. “And I’m sure you’ll earn one for yourself,too.”
I swallowed hard. Last week, I would have found that a lot more inspiring. Right now, I felt like every move I made—standing up in a crowded diner and announcing I had a boyfriend, agreeing to this fucked-up friends with benefits thing, constantly saying the wrong thing with Daniel—was the wrong one, and I didn’t even know what a happy ending would look likeanymore.
“So,” she said briskly, patting my chest. “To that end, I’d like to apologize to Daniel inperson.”
“You don’t have to. Honestly. Daniel’s said from the beginning that he knows you’re overprotective because youcare.”
“Did he? Good.” She nodded once. “I think I reallywilllike him once I get to know him better. I’d like you to bring him to the Parade this weekend. Maybe he can stand at the Ross Landscaping table with you. Kind of a welcome to the familything.”
“But we’re not getting married,” I told her. “It’s not that serious. We’re just… It’s not…” I threw up my hands. How the fuck to explain that we were fake boyfriends who’d likely be staging a fake breakup, if I didn’t manage toreallybreak up our friendshipfirst?
“I know. It’ll work out or it won’t,” she said, throwing her braid over her shoulder. “And he can come this weekend or not. But I want you… andhim…to know he’s welcome.Alright?”
“Yeah. Alright.” I wrapped my arms around her. “Thank you, Mama. That’s very nice ofyou.”
She patted my back and sniffed gently. “You don’t have to sound so surprised, Julian. I’m a very nice person.Ordinarily.”
“I loveyou.”
“I know. And I love you.” She hesitated. “And for what it’s worth, your father knew you loved him too, Julian. He never doubted it for aminute.”
