“Don’t you dare! Either of you!” I warned, not that anyonelistened.
“Jules had his wisdom teeth out,” Theo explained, grinning as he got into the story. “You know how some people see giant chipmunks when they get high? Well, when Jules gets high, he starts speaking in tongues about this guy who writes stupid mysteries.” He chuckled. “And, like, this guy is no Dan Brown, okay? He’s just some… random, not-famousdude.”
“Honestly, Theodore,” my mother saiddespairingly.
“You’re dead to me. Both of you.” I was busy glaring at Con and Theo, which meant I set the wine bottle down on the table a bit harder than I’dintended.
I might have been a bittipsy.
“Hey! I didn’t say anything!” Condefended.
“Pfft.You told him, Con! Theo wasn’t even there thatday!”
“But Jules, how could I not? It was the funniest thing I’d ever seen. You were like,He’s so insightful. And you practically had heart-eyes goingon.”
“It was a while ago. Right after I read that book I told you about,” I explained to Daniel. My cheeks wereflaming—I could practically feel them throbbing like Poe’s Telltale Heart. “I was…excited.”
Daniel was looking at me strangely, which was justawesome. Because he needed yet another reason to think I was a completely hopeless, socially awkwardidiot.
“This is, like, the most hilarious thing ever!” Marina said. “What else did Jules say while he was coming out of anesthesia? I mean, in my whole life Jules has never been anything but this perfect, boringadult. I’m having trouble even picturing him stoned!” Her fingernails dug into Daniel’s arm like short, shell-pink talons. “Did you get it onvideo?”
Teresa looked at me pityingly. “Julian’s always been a little grown up. So quiet and serious. But a good boy,” she added quickly in an aside to Daniel, like he might be rethinking ourrelationship.
Wow. I mean whodidn’tlove a holiday celebrating family,am-I-right?
It struck me that none of these people really knew me at all. They assumed because I was quiet, I had nothing to say. They assumed I didn’t argue because I was too weak to speak my mind. They had no idea how much it cost to bite my tongue and smile politely, not a fuckingclue.
And of course they didn’t, because I’d never let themknow.
“That was the whole story,” Con said, uncomfortable now. He wasn’t smiling anymore. Instead he gave me an apologetic look. “It was cute. I mean, compared to some of the embarrassing shi—uh,stuff—I’ve done, it was downrightdignified.”
I drank the rest of my wine in two long swallows and stared at my plate. My stomach burned and there were tears in my eyes, like the wine was leaking out ofme.
Stupidwine.
“Well, I think it’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard,” Daniel said, so firmly that I couldn’t help glancing up. His hazel eyes were pure green as he stared at me, but it was clear his words were for everyone else from the angry set of his jaw. “And since I think everything about Jules is fucking awesome, that’s saying something, so everyone should leave him alone.” He cleared his throat and turned to my mother. “Sorry for thelanguage.”
“Oh, come on. We were just having fun,” Marina saidsullenly.
Daniel tilted his head and looked at her. “Julian has an honest passion for something. Do you know how rare that is? Every author wants a reader like him—someone who reads with an open mind, someone who’s not cynical, someone who’s not ashamed to love what heloves.”
“Someone to stalk them?” Theochortled.
Sam muttered, “God. Shut up, Theo.” Daniel shot him a look that made Theo clear his throatuncomfortably.
“No,” Daniel said. “Someone who finds their words meaningful. Someone who derives so much enjoyment from the thing they’ve poured their heart and soul into. Roald Dahl said, ‘Lukewarm is no good.’ He said you have to be an enthusiast in life. And frankly, if more people focused on finding the joy in their own lives, they wouldn’t spend so much time trying to tear other people down.” He looked at me and nodded, like maybe he thought I wasn’t sure he wasserious.
I swallowed, but the lump in my throat didn’t seem to want tomove.
“Right.” My mother stood up from her place and pushed back her chair. “I think it’s about time for dessert. Theodore, Constantine, you two can clear thetable.”
I stood, too, because I couldn’t stay in my seat just then without bursting into tears or crawling over the cranberry sauce to kiss the fuck out of Daniel Michaelson, and I figured that would probably be frowned upon at the dinner table, at least as much as badlanguage.
Unfortunately, the floor swayed when I stood, and I grabbed at the table forbalance.
Shit. Too muchwine.
“Jules? You okay?” Daniel asked, his eyes still steady on myface.
