“Oh.” Was that better? Marginally, Isupposed.
She shook her head, but then she opened her eyes wide and grinned at me. “I have the best idea! Let’s pick a novel and read it together.” Her eyes widened in excitement. “We can be like a bookclub!”
I laughed out loud, because obviously that was a joke, right? A mother-son romance book club? I wanted to tell her that I was already in an unofficial book club, with Daniel, but I avoided talking about him with her as much aspossible.
My mother pursed her lips, clearlynotseeing thehumor.
I sobered, quick as lightning. “No. I mean, that’s a cute idea, I’m sure, for some other family,” I soothed, though I couldn’t imagine who and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. “Just not for me.” The idea of sharing my thoughts on kink with her filled me with horror, and I truly,viscerally, needed her tonevershare her thoughts on kink withme.
“Nonsense! Hot men. Eternal love. What’s not to like? Is it thewomen?” She whispered the last word like it was a dirtysecret.
If it was possible to combust from embarrassment, I wouldhave.
“No.” Yes. “I’m just not interested in this stuff.” If I wanted to fantasize about hot guys having sex, I’d open a private browser as Godintended.
“Because, who cares if you don’t have sex with all the same equipment?” she continued mercilessly. “That’s not what the books are about, anyway. Or, not entirely. It’s more about the feelings they evoke than copying the mechanics. Heck, I’ve barely dated since your father died, andIlike readingthem.”
“Mom!God, I really don’t want to know this.” I ran a hand through my hair and then it wasmyturn to glance around the shop, thankful that the only customer besides us was too far away tohear.
My mother made a tsk-ing sound. “Don’t be such a prude, Julian. It’s not like I’m giving youdetailsof my sex life.” Blech. I really didn’t want to know whether there were details in the first place. Was that immature? Then I was gonna own my immaturity. “I just thought it would be something fun we could dotogether.”She made a sound that was both a sniff and a sigh, hurt and annoyed atonce.
Ugh.It was a fucked-up thing, when youknewyou were being manipulated but were helpless to stopit.
“Pick a mystery,” I pleaded, feeling myself yielding and desperate to stop it. “Or an urban fantasy. Something with blood anddestruction.”
She sighed again, more pointedly this time. “Fine. If a simple romance novel threatens yourmasculinity.”
I rolled my eyes. “It doesn’t threaten to do anything except bore me. This stuff’s not forguys.”
I took one of the books from her hand and gazed down at the cover, where a buxom redhead draped in carefully-placed plaid lay sprawled atop the muscular thigh of a tan, blond barbarian whose face was contorted with possessivelust.
Wow. The thighs on that guy were…Ahem. And the blond hair reminded meof…
“Fine,” I heard myself saying, like I was speaking from a great distance away. “Fine. We’ll readLaird’s Conquest.Together.”
And that was the moment when I knew out-of-body experiences werereal.
“Youwill?”
My mother’s face brightened and I couldn’t backdown.
“Yeah,” I agreed, even as I wailed internally. “Whynot?”
Shebeamed.
“But let’s keep this between us, okay? Marci doesn’t need to know, and Karen sure as helldoesn’t.”
My mother mimed zipping her lips and grabbed the book from my hand along with a second one from the table. “I’ll get you your own copy so we can both starttoday!”
Oh.Yay.
She hurried up to the register on the other side of the store, and I turned my attention back out the window in time to watch Daniel emerge from the laundromat and saunter down the street towardFanaille. His ass, molded by his well-worn jeans, was hotter than anything the dude on the novel cover could be packing under hiskilt.
I pressed my cheek against the cold glass, wishing for a coldshower.
For five weeks, Daniel and I had been doingnothingas boyfriends. And I swear, I’d never known doingnothingcould be sohard.
On the surface, everything was the same as it ever was. We were the same people we’d been last month and for the four months before that. Friends. Bros. But something had changed inme.
