And I’d gotten total failure and a self-imposed exile to a cabin inO’Leary.
I suddenly wondered if honesty was all it was cracked up tobe.
I took a deep breath and threw open the door. Julian was waiting outside with his hand raised toknock.
He took a step back and held up his hands, like he wanted to reach for me, but didn’t want to scare meoff.
“Listen, Daniel. I’m so sorry,” he said in a rush. “I fucked up royally, and I don’t blame you for being angry. I get that you don’t wanna be around me right now, and I’ll go away and leave you alone, I promise, but first, please tell me what I can do to fix this. I’m afraid if I tell everyone I lied right now, it’ll just fuel the gossips’ fire. Maybe you don’t care about that, but I don’t want them harassing you. So I could say we broke up? Except then they’ll still think you’re gay. Or maybe I could…” He shook his head. “I’m out of ideas. I’msosorry.”
I stared at him for a second—at the sweater with the rolled-up sleeves, at the cowlicks in his dark hair, at the worry that streamed from everypore.
I knew Julian well enough to know that he hated liars. We’d read a thriller together one time that I’d thought was decent, but he’dhatedbecause one of the main characters had hidden something from the woman he was protecting. “Honesty is like abasic expectationto be a decent person,” he’d said. “I expect it from the guy who cuts my hair, for God’s sake, so I’d sure as hell expect it from someone who claims toloveme.”
And yet, here he was in my house, telling me he’d lied to protect me—lied to his family and to every person in the town he loved—and he was offering to lie again, if I wanted himto.
Maybe I should have been upset about what he’d done. He certainly seemed like he expected me to be. But all I could think was that it was a really lucky day when I got to be Julian Ross’s friend. And the last thing I wanted was for him to go away and leave me alone, or to deal with the fallout of his actions byhimself.
An idea occurred to me, and it felt so right, I didn’t stop to second-guess it or ponder theramifications.
I stuck out my hand. “Hi. My name is Daniel Michaelson,” Isaid.
He blinked and took a step back. “What?”
“I live out in a cabin off the Camden Road.” Another stepforward.
“I… Are you having a break with reality right now?” Julian demanded, backing up almost to the couch. “Should I call someone? Oh, Jesus, who would I evencall?”
“I have a three-legged dog and a tiny kitten who thinks she’s my therapist.” One more step, and then Julian’s ass was against the arm of thecouch.
“Daniel.” Julian shook his head, his eyes panicked. “Babe, sit down.Please.”
I grabbed his hand and shook it, even though his was entirely limp from the elbow down. “I’m your newboyfriend.”
“You’re my…” His blue eyes widened impossibly. “Okay, no.” He looked over my shoulder to the bedroom and inhaled deeply. “You don’t smell like alcohol. Is it drugs? I promise, I won’ttell.”
“Baby,” I said, clasping our hands to my heart. “Don’t deny our love.” The way his cheeks flushed was addictive. I was enjoying myselfimmensely.
But then, I always did withJulian.
“Who evenareyou rightnow?”
“I’m Daniel Michaelson. Ilive…”
He grabbed his hand away and pushed my chest with both palms and I laughed outloud.
“You won’t be living hereor anywhere elseif you keep thisup.”
“Hear that, Honoria? He segues from a lie to an apology to a death threat in thirty seconds.” I clapped both hands to my chest. “Is it any wonder I fell for hischarms?”
Julian stood and folded his arms. “Should Ileave?”
“No! Okay, okay, I’m being serious. I promise.” I held my hand out, palm up and crossed my fingers. “See? Pinkyswear.”
“That is absolutely not how you pinky swear.” He rolled hiseyes.
“Sit down,” I said, pushing him gently onto the arm of the couch again. “Listen tomenow. I thought about it, and I think you’re right. Itwouldn’tbe a good idea for you to tell everyone you lied now. And honestly, I don’t give a shit about me, Julian. They can think what they want, and I’ve made that perfectly clear. They don’t have to likeme.”
He shook his head. “Why not confess,then?”
