Things that would remind him of exactly what he’d be getting in exchange for that luxurious life in the city, if he came back here for goodsomeda—
I stopped in the middle of the street in a sudden moment ofclarity.
Wow. Wow, I reallywasa self-sabotagingidiot.
Daniel had showed me he cared about me in a hundred tiny ways over the past few weeks. He’d communicated with me. He’d shown me what he was doing and what he was seeing so that I could be with him vicariously. He’d communicated. He’d said he missed me. And what had Idone?
I’d reverted to my defaultsettings.
Don’t make waves. Don’t make him feel guilty. Don’t be needy. Don’t show him how badly you wanthim.
But why? Why was it so fucking hard to tell Daniel whatIneeded and wanted?If you expect him to read your mind, you’re fucked, Parker had said, and things with Daniel had only proven he was right. So what on Earth did I have to lose by calling Daniel right this very minute and telling him to get his ass back to O’Leary ASAP? What the hell would it cost me to tell him — out loud, for once — that I lovedhim?
The group ahead of me had gotten to the corner of Weaver Street and paused, looking right and then left, and I could hear them talking about which way to head for dinner—left to Burger Geek, right to the diner? Neither one really fit the bill anymore. People had quickly become used to Hoff’s, and its absence left a void. I’d heard whispers that Parker was thinking about leaving town again and heading back toBoston.
Con noticed I’d stopped and turned to face me. “Hurry up! If you’re crying over that fucking movie, Jules, I’m leaving youhere.”
I shook my head, grinning, and caught up. “Guys, listen, this has been really fun, but I have to gethome.”
“Exciting plans with your electric blanket andThe Great British Bakeoff?” Con scoffed. “Youhaveto come eat with us so I’m not the one lonelyloser.”
I tilted my head. “No, what Ihaveto do is call Daniel.” Ideally, so I wouldn’tbea lonely loser anymore. “If he can’t come back this weekend, maybe I can go visithim.”
Con nodded approvingly. “Finally pulling your fucking head out of your ass,eh?”
“Language,Constantine.”
He smirked. “Go get your happy ending,brother.”
I pulled him into an impulsive hug and he laughed out loud. “Wow. Somebody spiked your popcorn tonight, Julian Ross, but I likeit.”
As the guys headed off for burgers, I stood on the corner with my phone in my hand and my heart in my throat. Taking a deep breath, I dialed Daniel’snumber.
He answered on the firstring.
“Jules! I was just about to call you.Where—”
“No, wait,” I interrupted, stalking down the street toward the clinic and home. “Please just wait and listen, because I have to get this out.” I swallowed. “I did it again. I stopped telling you how I feel and asking for what I need. And I’m sorry about that. Because the truth is, I miss youso fucking much, Daniel, it’s unreal. I miss you kissing me, I miss you teasing me about Romance Novel Book Club, I miss you pushing my hair out of my face all the time, I miss you kissing me, I miss the way you listen, I miss the way you make pie-baking erotic, I miss you every time I see a fucking squirrel, which is really ridiculous, I miss you kissingme—”
“You said that one three times,” Daniellaughed.
“Well, yeah, because they’re all different kinds of kisses.” I slowed my steps as I got to the laundromat right next to the clinic and explained. “There are morning kisses, kisses when I’m standing at the counter in the kitchen and you come up behind me, kisses when we’re on the sofa, and those kisses when we’re walking out to the car and have to get in separate doors, so you kiss me goodbye before we’re separated like you’re gonna miss me for the twelve seconds until we’re buckled in our seats.” I blew out a breath and kicked at the slippery layer of snow that coated the ground. It was really coming down now, and by tomorrow we’d have a foot or more to contendwith.
“Anyway, listen, I know you have important shit that you’re doing right now, and I donotwant to distract you, I swear. But maybe I could come down. Like, for a visit. At some point. Or you could come here. Or we could meet halfway, even, because Ireally—”
“Jules.”
“Yeah?”
“Lookup.”
“Holy shit,” I said into the phone as a person who looked an awful lot like Daniel and talked an awful lot like Daniel stepped out of the alcove in front of my bright reddoor.
I ran at him and jumped, and Daniel caught me with a smile and a softoofsound that made us bothlaugh.
“You’re here,” I said, peppering his face with kisses. “You’re here, you’re here, you’rehere.”
His arms tightened under my ass. “Of course I’m here. I told you I’d be back.” He set me down, then bent his head to kiss me as the snow fell aroundus.
