“Come. Here.Now.”
Cain opened his eyes, expecting to find Damon looking at him with pity, or maybe even annoyance, but he wasn’t. His smile was patient, his eyes firm but kind, and Cain didn’t know if it was conscious thought or subconscious obedience, but he found himself crossing the room to stand between Damon’s legs.
“There are a couple of things you’re not considering, babe,” Damon said softly, running his hands up and down Cain’s forearms, brushing his thumbs lightly over Cain’s wrists in a way that felt soothing and thrilling all at once. He felt like a captive, and like he was guarded and precious at the same time.
Cain huffed. “I’m sure there are a million things I’m not considering.” Sniffing, he continued. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m kind of a mess.”
“You’re not a mess. You’re brave, Cain. You’re so fucking brave. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not.”
“Yeah? Cause I don’t feel so brave.”
“Then trust me when I tell you. Okay?”
Cain snorted and looked away.
“CainEdwarddon’t be disrespectful.”
Damon’s imitation of Lily Shaw at her most outraged was so spot-on that Cain glanced back at him in shock. Damon grinned like a loon and gripped the back of Cain’s neck. The Damon Hold.
“Listen, you idiot. You love your father, even though he’s kind of an asshole. You feel an obligation to your family, to not see their lives destroyed by association. That doesn’t make you weak, it makes you loyal.” He lifted his other hand to run it over Cain’s cheek, and the look in his eyes made it hard for Cain to breathe. “But Cain, your first loyalty has to be to yourself. Not to your family, not to me or the Seavers. There’s no guilt here, okay? No obligation. You need to do what is best foryou.You need to figure out what you canlivewith. And there are no right or wrong answers.”
“How can you just stand there and be fine with this?” Cain sputtered.
“I am far from fine with this, Cain,” Damon said, and for just a second, Cain could see the deep anger in his eyes. “I would give pretty much anything to get the information we need to end this. Every dollar I have, every possession I own. God, I’d give this fucking leg if I thought it would do any good.” He pounded his fist on the thigh of his injured leg. “But this is what we have. This is the reality we live in. You beating yourself up over it changes jack shit.”
“Before, you were so angry. And I understood that. Still understand it. You said…”
“Yeah, I know what I said. I didn’t get where you were coming from, and I didn’t want to. I can be a self-absorbed asshole sometimes, you know?” Damon grinned again, but then his smile faded. “And there’s something else to remember here, too.” He waved a hand at the papers spread on the desk behind him. “If those are dummy corporations, if your dad is mixed up with SILA, this goes way deeper than just stopping him. Even if we found a smoking gun that would get a United States Senator arrested and convicted, it wouldn’t keep any of us safe. In fact, it might just make us even bigger targets. And that includesyou, Cain.”
“I don’t care—”
“Yeah? Well, Ido.” Damon’s hands were back on his wrists, no longer soothing but imprisoning. Constricting. “Did you hear what I said about where your first loyalty needs to be? You don’t risk your life for this. Ever. Non-negotiable.”
“So then… what the fuck do we do?” Cain let his head fall against Damon’s broad chest. “I just want this over. I just want all of us to move on.”
Damon’s muscles tightened. “That eager to get back to school?”
Cain shook his head. “I don’t even know if I want to go back to school. That’s my dad’s thing, not mine.”
“So what do you want?” Damon asked softly.
Cain lifted his head and promptly drowned in the green-brown eyes staring down at him. Helpless, he answered with the first truth that came to his mind. “You. Damon, I want you.”
Damon’s hands slid up his arms, over his shoulders, to cup his neck in the familiar hold that made Cain feel strong and small all at once. “You’ve got me. Question is,” Damon challenged, “what are you gonna do with me?”
Blood rushed behind Cain’s ears, his pulse so loud he could hear the frantic syncopated rhythm of his heart.You’ve got me.What did that even mean? His mind whirled, trying to parse the complicated calculus of that deceptively simple sentence. Did it mean exactly what Cain wanted it to mean? Nothing in his life had ever been that easy. Promises like that carried expectations, but Damon was telling him there were none. It simply didn’t add up.
“Stop thinking so hard,” Damon said, brushing a kiss across his lips that did nothing to clear Cain’s confusion. “You’ve got time to figure it out.”
“I do?”
“Yeah, babe.” Damon’s strong fingers kneaded the muscles of Cain’s neck. “Here’s what I’m thinking for the short term. Ready?”
Cain nodded dazedly. He was ready for anything, as long as Damon’s hands were on his skin, his raspy voice in Cain’s ear.
“I’m thinking we are going to photograph the documents in this folder and send them to Bas and Drew.” He handed Cain his phone, and Cain gripped it hard. “We’re going to go through the rest of these papers again, now that we have a better idea what we are looking for, and see if we can find these company names listed anywhere else, and then we’ll send that information on, too. We’re going to go about this the smart way, and not rush in with a half-formed plan. Great advice this really smart guy gave me the other night.” His lips quirked into a smile.
Cain snorted. “What about Chelsea and Molly?”
