It would be trusting him with a part of herself that she hadn't shared with anyone else, not her mom, not Ava or Chelsea.
Regardless of what the future held for them, there was one thing Micah could do for her now that might change her life.
Dragging in a deep breath, she held it and then jumped off the deep end. “Sex was kind of ruined for me thanks to what happened. I don’t know what I can promise you for the future, but do you think you could help me learn to like it?”
May5th
1:54 P.M.
“Can I help you with what?”
The question exploded out of him without any sort of thought on his part, but when he watched as Teresa’s gaze slipped away, and her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink, it was clear she had misinterpreted what he was saying.
It was obvious she was conflicted about what their future held, and he could hardly hold that against her. Not only had he not been there for her twelve years ago, but he had poppedback up in her life at absolutely the worst possible time when she already had so much to deal with. There was no way her mind could settle enough to focus forward when her present was so full of turmoil.
But she’d reached out to him.
Asked him for help.
A real request, something that had taken him months to coax out of her back when they first met. His pretty girl was so stubborn and so independent that she hated showing an ounce of weakness and asking anyone for anything.
Still on his knees before her, Micah grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger and guided her face back so it was looking at him. Slowly, her gaze once again shifted to meet his, and he saw the tentative hope in those warm brown depths as well as her strength as she was already steeling herself for his rejection.
“May I?” he asked as he maintained his gentle hold on her chin and used his pinkie to brush across Teresa’s bottom lip. There was no way he had the right to kiss her anymore without her express permission. Micah knew how lucky he was that she was even allowing him to breathe the same air as her, much less offer him the gift of her forgiveness.
“You want to kiss me?”
“I would spend the rest of my life kissing you if it were possible and at the end know it was a life well spent,” he answered honestly. He knew why she was hesitant to believe that after all these years he still loved her, and he didn't know how to convince her it was true.
One day at a time.
When she nodded, he used his grip on her chin to guide her face down a little to meet his, and leaned in so he could whisper his lips across hers. She tasted every bit as good as heremembered, and while he would love to jump all in, ravish her beautiful mouth, they weren't in that place yet.
Pulling back required all his resolve, and so he wasn't tempted again, Micah rose, lifted her legs, then sat on the couch beside her, settling her feet in his lap. Because he knew she was a sucker for a foot massage and he was a sucker for anything that made Teresa happy, he began to rub, keeping most of his attention on what he was doing so Teresa wouldn't feel so self-conscious as they had this conversation.
“So, you don’t enjoy sex?” It was selfish of him, but a part of him was glad that even though he wouldn't be her first, he would be her first that actually brought her pleasure.
“No. Like it doesn’t hurt, but I don’t get off, and I'm too tense the whole time. Guys can tell and it kills the mood. Not that I ever really cared, I always just did it because it seemed like that’s what I was supposed to do. Adults have sex.”
“What about when you're alone? Do you ever touch yourself? Make yourself come?” These were weird questions to ask the woman he thought he hated for the last decade. He’d thought what Teresa and he could have had was gone forever, but now there was a chance to get it back, and he wanted to cling to that chance so badly it was all he could think about.
There were no guarantees, he got that. He could help Teresa with this, and she might still decide she only wanted to be friends with him, or she could decide she didn't want him in her life at all.
But it was a risk he had to take.
How could he not?
This was Teresa, his pretty girl, the woman he’d known was his soul mate since he was sixteen years old, and he first laid eyes on her.
“I do.”
The thought of Teresa once again standing in for herself, doing all the work because she didn't know how to let someone else in, broke his heart. Picturing her bringing herself pleasure was hot, sure, but not with the reasons why she did it alone.
“Just yourself, or do you use toys?”
Without even looking at her, he knew her cheeks were flaming red. They might not have had sex when they were teens, but they’d been in love, there had been lots of kissing, a little touching, and he’d bought her a toy for her sixteenth birthday, one they agreed she would only use when he was on the phone with her, getting himself off.
“Teresa?” he prompted, looking over at her.
