To finally forgive, cut the ties that held her stuck in the past, and move forward.
But forgiveness was a terrifying thing because it meant letting go, and in a sick sort of way, there was a layer of stability that came with hanging onto the past.
“Dough is still rising,” Micah said excitedly as he bustled back out of the kitchen. “Should be ready to go into the oven soon. I’m going to go and put on a load of laundry, and then I need to check your stitches.”
He didn't wait for her to say anything, just disappeared off down the hall, and a moment later, she could hear the lid of the small washing machine in the tiny laundry cupboard lifting and then closing, and whirring to life. As much as the idea of him touching her had nerves dancing in her stomach, Teresa knew it was part of what she’d agreed to when she convinced the hospital to discharge her.
Micah was his team’s medic, and he was confident in his ability to keep her wounds clean and monitor them for signs of infection. It wasn't that she didn't trust him to do that, because she certainly did, it was just his hands touching her made it hard to think all over again.
“All right, let’s take a look,” Micah said as he took the seat beside her on the couch, setting the first aid kit at his side.
Unable to take her eyes off his large hands, they eased the blanket down, then gripped the hem of her soft leggings and tucked them down just enough that he could get to the bandages. With nimble fingers, he pulled back the bandage covering her wound, his eyes assessing the cut with an expression she couldn’t read.
She knew it wasn't pretty, it wasn't like the traffickers had cared enough to be careful with it. They’d intended to keep opening her up and taking more organs. When she chanced a glance at it, she could see it was red, not quite infected-looking, but close.
Was that why she’d been feeling so hot?
It would be exactly her luck for her wound to get infected. Especially with Micah there.
Now he knew the truth of what had happened all those years ago, and that she’d been able to rebuild her life, she felt an almost irrational need not to get sick in front of him, not to show weakness of any kind.
Ever since she stepped up to help her family, she’d worked hard to be the strong, independent, together woman that everyone else saw. Once upon a time, she’d let Micah see her weaker parts, the parts she hid so well, and he’d walked away.
Letting him in again was not an option.
Not if she wanted to survive this intact.
May4th
2:36 P.M.
Something feltoff with Teresa today.
It wasn't her attitude, if anything, she’d definitely softened toward him, which Micah was eternally grateful for, but she seemed distant in a different way.
It wasn't like they were back to being a couple, or even friends, but she was being polite, and most of the hostility from those first couple of days seemed to have disappeared. It was more than he could have hoped for, but nowhere near where he wanted to wind up.
Now that he knew all their problems from the past were his fault, he felt like he couldn’t rest until he’d fixed them. Righted things, put them back to the way they were always supposed to be.
It was a weird dichotomy because Micah both knew he had no right to have Teresa back in his life in any way, shape, or form, but at the same time, he craved regaining what he once had so carelessly tossed aside. He wanted Teresa more than he wanted his next breath of air. Wanted her to smile at him like she used to, those little ones she used to shoot his way when she thought he wasn't looking. He’d always pretend to be distracted by something, preoccupied so she wouldn't know he was watching and cherishing every second.
Those smiles had been full of warmth and love. She hadn't hidden anything in them, looking at him like he was the rock in her life, the one thing she could stand on when she was overwhelmed by all the responsibilities on her young shoulders. She used to believe he hung the moon, but now she thought he guarded the gates to hell.
How could he possibly earn back her love when what he’d done was so awful?
As much as he wanted to study that problem until he could come up with a solution, he knew he had other things he needed to focus on as well.
Like figuring out what was going on with Teresa today.
This morning, he’d covered her wounds with waterproof bandages so she could take a shower, and she’d been grateful although she’d flinched every time his fingers had brushed against her skin. At first, he’d thought it was because she was affected by his touch, but now, he wasn't so sure.
There had been something like panic in her eyes each time she flinched.
But what could she possibly be panicked about?
It wasn't like he didn't already know that she loathed him and was only putting up with his presence in her life because of the threat hanging over her. That and the fact that he was Nathaniel’s teammate and Ava was one of her best friends, so their lives would be connected, and she probably didn't want to cause problems for the happy couple.
So if she wasn't just hating the feel of his touch, then what else could it be?
