I gaze at him with love filling every part of me. The words are right there on the tip of my tongue. I’m about to tell him I love him.
“I don’t want to come yet.” He rolls me over and pulls out of me.
His actions snap me out of the moment. “Why?”
“Because I’m enjoying being with you and want it to last all night.”
I decide not to tell him how I feel. It might not land right, seeing as I just came off a high from an incredible orgasm.
“Why didn’t I just tell you then?” I mumble to myself. “What was I so afraid of?”
I spend more time sorting out my feelings for him. As I look back on our childhood, I’m filled with the bittersweet pangs of missed opportunities, each one a faded photograph of what could have been.
I had so many chances, so why didn’t I take them?
What stopped me from taking a risk with the man who’s always had my heart?
Jami and I would have to deal with my brother if we were to give our relationship a try. And he’s moving to Miami when my life and job are here.
But then there’s Hunter. Sex and attraction have never been our problem. Our issues stem from making our relationship real. We’ve always been in a bubble.
For a single day in Paris, amidst the charming cafes and cobblestone streets, we acted like a normal couple. It was a fleeting moment of normalcy in our otherwise unconventional relationship.
During the remaining time we spent abroad, and over the two weeks I stayed with him, an understanding friendship blossomed between us, strengthening our bond.
Where does that leave us?
His dedication and generosity have been a constant source of comfort and support in my life. He even went into therapy to better himself for me.
But does that mean I owe him my future?
What kind of person would I be if I walked away now?
I love him, but am I staying with him because I feel obligated after all he’s done for me?
He loves me, and I feel the same about him. We enjoy each other and I can see us growing closer if I just gave our relationship a fighting chance.
But working for him is a problem. I could lose my job. Or worse, I would be like my mom if I quit to be with Hunter. I couldn’t handle that.
This situation is tearing me apart. Both men come withobstacles. None that will be easy to get through. I’m standing at a crossroads, completely lost and unsure of which way to go.
Where does my soul lead me?
I love them both, but who do I love to the depths of my soul?
This isn’t a matter of who I can live with and love. It boils down to the one whose presence is essential to my existence—the one I love with an all-consuming passion and can’t see my life without.
Something brushes over my hair. I lift my hazy head off Jami’s hospital bed and try to get my bearings. I blink a few times and then find his blue eyes staring at me.
“Hey, sweet temptress.” His voice gravelly and scratchy.
My soul heats and my body tingles. “Oh my god. You’re awake.”
“Trying.”
“Shh. Don’t say anything. I’ve got to go get the nurse.” I stand to leave, but the nurse is already coming to Jami’s bedside.
She rubs her hands together like she just got done washing them. “I had a feeling you were waking up.”
