“It means I hate hurting him. The night I found out about your son, we had a conversation where I expressed my concerns about how our relationship would impact him. I don’t like being the one responsible for causing him pain. It sucks.”
Jami presses his hips to the counter, reaches over, and runshis palm over the top of my hand. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
I relax my stance and breathe a sigh of relief. “No, but I don’t want to upset you by talking about it.”
“You only do that when you shut down and go radio silent.”
“That’s never going to happen again. I’m done with that childish behavior.”
He smirks. “That’s a relief because it was getting annoying. Ask Melanie. She agrees.”
He’s in a playful mood.
“Stop. We’re having a constructive conversation. Not a give Dori some rib-rubbing conversation.”
“Fair enough.” He stands straight, and a seriousness washes over his eyes. “I’m going to take a guess and say when you saw Hunter, you thought about not having coffee with him, but decided to so you wouldn’t hurt him. How’d I do?”
“Nailed it.” My shoulders go slack. “I wish breaking up with someone didn’t feel this way.”
“I know.”
There’s a long pause. My throat tightens, and unease rises in my stomach. Sitting with these feelings is uncomfortable as fuck. I wish I had Samantha whispering in my ear and guiding me on how I should handle it.
Jami leans against the counter behind him. “Have you been talking about this in therapy?”
Can he read my mind?
“A little bit.” I slide off the stool and round the island so I’m standing in front of him. “I’m still working on other things.”
“Like?”
“Me moving to Miami and what I want to do when I get there.” I intertwine my fingers with his. “Me taking care of you the best way I know how.”
I want to tell him I’m working on healing from mymiscarriages and my nightmares, but I already told him I’m having a hard time breaking things off with Hunter. Piling on won’t help.
Take one issue at a time, Dori.
Not everything needs to be fixed in a day.
Besides, we still have a lot we need to work through before I go there. If I do, he might decide I’m not the woman he wants. I suck in a breath as I shudder. That thought alone scares the shit out of me.
He studies me. “Are you going to be okay?”
I shake the feelings off. “Yeah. It’ll take some time to get over hurting him, but it’ll all be fine once I’m through it. Give me a few hours and I’ll feel better.”
He nods. “Just talk to me when you’re struggling. You don’t have to handle it alone.”
“Deal.” I let go of his hands and reach for a pan to release the heaviness resting on my shoulders. “Since I have some time, why don’t I make you something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry, but thanks. I have a call with Mateo in a few minutes.” Jami starts toward the stairs. “It won’t take long, so don’t leave without saying goodbye.”
“Okay, but I didn’t eat breakfast. Do you mind if I make myself something?”
“You don’t have to ask.Mi casa es su casa.” He takes deliberate steps up to his loft, careful not to move too fast. “I love you and don’t forget it.”
“I love you too, babe.”
He disappears upstairs as I go about making an omelet for myself. My thoughts flip from how I’m so happy with Jami to how awful I feel about hurting Hunter.
