Lucas gave me a questioning look.I knew full well I was supposed to be present at these types of things.I’d not mentioned a word to Pamela about any such thing.
“What are you going to do if you aren’t there?”he asked.
“Well, this weekend I am going to take the time to find someone who will annul this marriage, and then I’m going to make sure that I message your mother and your sisters, explain the whole situation to them, and apologize to them for playing along with this crazy thing.Don’t you worry, I’ll take the heat on it.Then, I am going to sit down and write my resignation letter and take it to my father on Monday afternoon.”
“WHAT?”Lucas exclaimed.“Are you out of your mind?”
“No, I’ve just given things lots of thought over the last week.As much as I love what I do, I don’t think this is the place to do it in.So, with that said, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to move on to something else.”
“Ella.Do nothing rash.Think it through.”
“I have, Lucas.I’ve given it a tremendous amount of thought.”
I gathered my things, throwing my purse over my neck and adjusting it before grabbing my garbage.
“Ella.”
I stopped and looked at Lucas.If I had to look at those eyes one more time I would buckle, I knew it.They were my weakness; he was my weakness.
“What?”
“Before you do anything, you need to know—”
“It’s okay, Lucas.I don’t need to know anything,” I said, placing my hand on his.“I want you to know that I thank you for this, actually.You’ve given me the gift I think I’ve been searching for.”
“What gift is that?”he questioned.
I thought for a minute, on how to explain this to him, then looked over at him.I didn’t want this to come across wrong, especially knowing how he felt about me.It wasn’t his fault he didn’t have feelings for me.Yet I still wanted to make sure he knew he’d given me something great.
“Lucas, because of this crazy weekend, you gave me the courage to look inside my life and see what has and hasn’t been working for me.You know, I always thought I didn’t want to get married, to have kids, all because of what my friends have gone through and are going through, but you changed that.The idea, when presented, about getting married, actually sounded fun, and until finding out only a few minutes ago that we actually tied the knot, I’d had a blast with it.Maybe it was because I thought it was fake, I don’t know but it made me realize I’d only been feeling that way about marriage because I haven’t met the one yet, and I was jealous of my friends.Now, at least I know that when I meet the one, the idea of being tied to him forever won’t freak me out.
“It also gave me a chance to look at my job.I’m not happy here.While I know Dad was trying to help, it was never my choice to work for my father.I want to pave my way, and I have you to thank for that, too.If it hadn’t of been for you always making fun of me, well, I guess I’d have just settled and stayed on board.”
“But, Ella, you can’t just leave.”
“Why not?This fundraiser was the only job that was assigned to me so far this year.”
“Yes, because it’s an important one, and it required all of your focus to make sure it went well.”
“Yes, and Dad probably only handed it to me to see if I’d crack under the pressure before he gave me anything else to do.So, before he gives me anything else, it’s the perfect time to announce my departure.We will get this silly marriage annulled, and once that’s done, I’ll be free, and there will be nothing keeping me here.”
Lucas sat there watching me, a look of disappointment on his face.He said nothing, just sat there, and after a few moments, he stood up.
“I’ll look into the annulment.No need for you to worry about it.I’ll take care of everything, including my mother.This isn’t on you, never was, and I won’t let it be now.I am sorry I put you in this position.You focus on your letter of resignation and, if you could, please text me the address of where I need to be on Monday.”
He looked down at me, placed his hand on top of mine, and gave me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.“Good luck on whatever path you decide.”
I studied his eyes, he was crushed, and it pulled at my heart like nothing ever had before.I was about to say something, but he’d already taken his hand from mine, turned away, and was heading out the doors of the Sip and Stir.
It seriously felt as if we’d broken up all over again.
I picked up my cup and threw it in the trash, then made my way out of the little shop and started walking toward my apartment.I thought after sharing my plans with Lucas I’d feel lighter than ever, but instead, my chest hurt, and my body felt heavy.I couldn’t go through this again.I needed to focus and get my life in order.After all, this was what I wanted, wasn’t it?
Once I got home, I sat down and began writing my resignation while thinking about things.I soon realized that maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t what I wanted, and I’d rushed into this decision too.
Chapter Ten
Lucas - One Week Later
