“Yep.” She grins. “Tonight’s VIP section and we’re on the list!” Then she scurries off, straight for the restrooms.
“I like her.” I slowly get down from my stool. Somehow getting out of my chair feels like admitting the last ten minutes and Knox Marley up close and personal have come to an official end.
“Definitely notThe Tarrorizer.” Arizona smirks following my lead and scooting to the edge of her seat until her short legs finally reach the ground.
After our bathroom break, we decide to make a stop at the only bar up and running, each of us ordering a drink and one of the greasy but delicious deep-fried appetizers they offer. Then, we make our way upstairs.
From here, time starts to speed up again. The doors open, people pile in. Noise erupts from every corner of the building until finally, at long last, the house lights dim, and the stage lights up.
Trip Three comes out first and I don’t hear a peep out of Arizona all set. Until they’re done. Then she’s whooping and hollering louder than anyone.
Well, at least until Knox Marley steps out. Then, a couple thousand voices manage to drown her out. Not mine. I’m completely quiet. You miss things when you’re busy making your own noise, and tonight, I don’t want to miss a single thing. I’m here for all of it. Every last word spoken, every expression and every note played. I’m soaking it all in.
Turns out, a two-hour concert feels a lot like a ten-minute soundcheck. Somehow, it’s just never long enough.
“You look like you’re in some sort of a trance,” Arizona teases when the lights come back on and I’m still standing here, locked in place, staring at the stage.
“I might be,” I admit. My legs feel wobbly, and my heart is still pounding, neither of which I noticed all night while Iwas dancing and swaying along to every song. “God, that was amazing.” I finally turn my head away from the stage to face her. “We need to do this more often.”
She throws her hands up laughing. “Hey, take it up with Knox Marley. I don’t control how often he comes to town.”
“No, I mean live music. I mean, more Knox Marley would be awesome too, but live music – that’s what we need more of.” I shake my head, sinking down into the chair I abandoned the second the band stepped into view. “We used to go to concerts all the time. Now I can’t even remember the last show we saw. What the hell happened?”
“You married an asshole.”
“Right.” That did put a damper on several things. Though it also brought me Sloan, making every sacrifice along the way wholly worth it. “Well, I divorced him. Time to get our soul jam on again!”
“I’m in!”
“Me too,” Tara chimes in. “I mean, if I’m invited.”
“Hell, yeah!” I think Arizona surprises herself with her enthusiasm, but Tara doesn’t seem to notice.
With our commitment to concerts fully renewed, I’m able to think about other things again. Mostly, how the space up in the loft seems to be getting more cramped by the minute.
“What’s happening? Am I going crazy or are the people up here multiplying?” I crane my neck trying to see around the small crowd forming behind our table.
“They’re getting ready for the meet and greet,” Tara explains. “It’s included for the VIP, but they also sold wristbands for it separately. That’s why the place is filling up.”
“Oh.” I shoot up out of my seat instantly. “Should we go?”
Arizona’s brow crinkles. “Before the meet and greet?”
“Absolutely.” I nod. Several times. “If we leave now, we won’t hit the crazy after concert traffic trying to get out of the parking lot,” I reason.
“You’re serious.” Arizona can’t seem to really grasp it though. “You have the chance to meet Knox Marley, your every male fantasy come to life, the man you secretly compare every potential date to before you turn them away,” she pauses to glare at me while I glare back. I sincerely wish she hadn’t said that last part out loud. “And you want to bolt before he even shows up.”
“Yes.” I nod. Again. This time more vigorously. “Absolutely.”
She finally starts to stand up and for a brief moment I think I’ve won her support. Then, she steps into my path, places both hands on her hips and gives me the sternest stare I think I’ve ever received from her. “Why?”
“I would think that would be obvious,” I hiss, trying to hold onto whatever scraps of dignity I have left after Arizona announced to the entire House of Rock that I refuse dates with regular mortals on account of how they can’t measure up to my rock god delusions. “I would like to keep the fantasy alive. For personal reasons.” I step toward her moving in a little closer so I can keep whispering even as the crowd around us gets louder. “You and I both know I don’t exactly have a lot of great experiences to draw from where men are concerned. And I like the version of Knox I have now. No, Ilovethe version I have of him now. It helps me maintain some semblance of hope that someday when I’m ready, when I’ve healed all my mental and emotional bullshit, good men will be out there, and most importantly, I will be able to recognize them. And in the meantime, as dumb as it sounds, the fantasy of who he is keeps me from feeling lonely while I have to be alone to sort my mess out. If I stay and meet him, I risk losing both.”
She tips her head in beside mine and whispers back, “But what if you lose nothing? What if the fantasy is real?”
“That’s not how fantasy works, Arizona.” I slide past her.
This time, she doesn’t try to stop me.
