“I told you weeks ago he wasn’t who we thought,” she continued.
I stiffened, but she was right. Shehadtold me, and I’d deemed it nonsense. For years, I’d deemed her musings nonsense, when all this time, she’d seen things more clearly than I had. Maybe because she was divine, or maybe just because I was an idiot.
Either way, I shrank inward, collapsing on myself. “Okay, yes, you did. And I should’ve listened. All this time, I should’ve listened to you. I’m sorry I haven’t been better about that.”
“It’s all right.” She gifted me with a smile I definitely didn’t deserve. “You’ve done your best.”
“I’ve...tried.” I went to the bed, suddenly meek, and sat. “I hope you know that everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you.”
“I do know. Though I wish you’d put yourself first, sometimes.”
“I have, though. I do.” I heaved a sigh, my anger spent. “I mean, that’s all last night was, Am. Me being selfish. Because I definitely shouldn’t have had sex with your husband all those times. I just...I don’t know. I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” she said.
A fleeting smile passed over my lips. “Well, whatever. It’s finished. Now we’ll get you to Hightower and start over. I’ll do a better job of listening to you, and you’ll eat all the food we can find, and things’ll get better. There won’t be any nightmares to deal with. No swamp goddesses whispering your name.”
Her gray eyes turned solemn, her regard steady. “And you’ll be happy there.”
“Yes. You, too. I just need you to marry Kai, okay? Without telling anyone who he is. Or isn’t. Please.”
She pressed her lips together. “All right. Then I’ll wear the dress, if you want. Stand in the library. Say the words. I’ll even let him kiss me, if it pleases you.”
I swallowed hard. It would do the exact opposite of please me, but whatever.
I’d survive.
Within minutes, I was standing at Amryssa’s vanity, pinning up her hair while she fiddled with her gown. It was the same dress I’d worn months ago, and I tried to shut out the memories it evoked.
But I could practically feel the scratch of the cypress vine around my wrist. The weight of the marriage crown circling my scalp.
My thoughts wandered. What would’ve happened if I’d stopped Kai from untying our vine that night? If we’d left it on until morning, as intended, would Zephyrine have blessed our union?
Goddess.I shook myself.Get a grip.
I forced my focus back to my task, pinning a crown of braids atop Amryssa’s head.
Her gaze caught mine in the mirror. She gave me a hopeful smile. “Ready?”
I smiled back. “I think I’m supposed to be the one asking you that.”
“Oh, but I’ve been ready since the beginning. Or willing, at least. I’m just glad that this time, I don’t have to be afraid.”
My smile wavered, but she was right. This wedding was a definitive upgrade from the last one, seeing as how it didn’t involve me having to murder anybody.
She dropped her eyes and smoothed the white lace over her lap. “I do wish my mother were here, though.”
“Your mother? As in...Zephyrine?”
“No. Mymother. I wish... Well, I know this wedding doesn’t actually mean anything. But I wish she could’ve seen it, anyway. It would’ve brought her joy.”
My chest ached, and I gave her bony shoulders a squeeze. “I wish that, too. But...do you want the diary, maybe? You could read her letter again. Before we go downstairs.”
Her smile returned. “I’d like that.”
“Then I’ll go get it. It’s in my room.”
I moved to the door. When I opened it, there stood Olivian, his fist raised to knock. He turned his nose up and sniffed, as if my very existence offended his sensibilities. “Did you sign the annulment?”
