Fearful and weakened by the countless injuries, I lay there waiting for my consciousness to cloud and my cardiovascular system to fail. It was a matter of God’s grace whether I suffocated immediately or passed out and didn’t notice. I closed my eyes and life flickered out of me. Pictures. Maybe I would see images. The Voyageur II and the day after I betrayed Mom. The final truth.
My head, however, remained empty. And for some reason, I could breathe better again. For a moment, the blue pills flashed through my mind. I thought of the little bird that could no longer fly because its owner had fed it gold beads. Because he loved it too much. I thought about how Dad loved me too much, so much so that he had denied and betrayed his other child terribly, and I thought about how my allergy had made me fearful and dependent and isolated me from the world.
I breathed in and out a few times and was surprised that my throat didn’t swell any further. My nose was clear again too. Had those first reactions come from pure panic? I blinked and saw the clear bottle of moonshine while the suspicion inside me became an ever sharper truth. I didn’t have an allergy at all. Dad had lied.
This realization didn’t even hurt. Not at that moment. Isaac had fastened his belt and it must have been the miracle of a whole host of archangels that I managed to get to my feet.
Isaac looked at me and I looked at him. I gasped loudly. He certainly thought I was going to die, but it was from the pain of a hundred blows, a hundred bruises and contusions. I swayed and staggered to the table…pretending to have to support myself and unable to breathe. I gasped for breath in a feigned frenzy.
He pulled his mouth up in victory and stooped to pick up his shirt from the floor. I grabbed the bottle in a flash and swung it over my head. These weeks had left me little strength, but I struck with the hatred and disgust he had planted in me. There was an ugly, dull sound, and Isaac fell to his knees and finally tipped over to the side. Blood flowed from his artfully tousled hair onto the old wood.
I stood frozen for a few breaths, feeling the pressure of my heartbeats in my temples. My eardrums were pounding. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if his soldiers were standing outside the door or not.
Isaac stirred, twisting like a snake and groaning, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Without thinking, I ripped open the door and found the hallway empty. Isaac’s soldiers were gone.Oh God!New tears streamed down my face. Out of relief and new fear. They would shoot me or beat me to death if they caught me. Clutching the bottle, I staggered onward, held up by only adrenaline and the last of my will to live. Where were they? There were more doors up here. I could have hidden in a room, but there might be a few men sitting there together. And, at any second, Isaac could get up and rush after me since I had no idea how hard I had hit him.
I staggered clumsily to the stairs, trying to hold the bottle over my head, but I couldn’t raise my arm. Only now did I feel a terrible pain there as if my bones had shattered into a thousand pieces. I took the stairs, supporting myself on the handrail, hardly able to breathe. A strange dizziness jumbled my vision. Everything shifted into the next, steps, walls, wood.
I want to get out of here!There was only this thought as if as soon as I left this house behind me, I would leave everything else behind too.
I arrived on the ground floor wearing only the stinking, dirty dark green t-shirt that Isaac hadn’t taken off me this time either.Red and black dots pulsed in front of my eyes like flares. My legs were shaking uncontrollably as if I had been climbing mountain ridges for weeks, however, adrenaline rushed through my veins, whispering and driving me:Run, run, run!
It was so terribly quiet. The front door was open and I suddenly felt the draft on my burning skin. It was mild, a Louisiana winter wind, but it seemed as liberating as ice. In my confused state, it danced wildly over my wounds like a million snowflakes.
Before I put my feet over the threshold, I heard the floorboards creak above me. Dragging, heavy steps. These sounds almost brought me to my knees.
With the last of my strength, I stumbled forward onto the veranda that is so typical of bayou houses. In front of me, a narrow piece of meadow shimmered, and behind it, the swamp forest with bare trees and green water. Instinctively, I glanced left and right, and when I spotted Taurus, Mykonos, and Maury on the porch, I almost fell over.
I looked at Taurus. My expression must have been a horrified, silent plea.Let me run, please, please, let me run!
He didn’t do anything. He remained still as if he didn’t see me except for an almost imperceptible nod. Instead, Mykonos screamed with all his might. “Stop, you cheap whore! One step more and I’ll put a bullet in your head!” I heard the safety of a gun being released, like a final shot to the back of the neck. “Drop the bottle, you filthy slut!”
I obeyed. That was it.Now I’m dead. Not moving, I closed my eyes and prepared for even more pain. The footsteps behind me grew louder, but suddenly, there was wild screaming in front of me. Voices shouted in confusion, something rushed through the swamp forest, and for a few seconds, I thought it was a hunt. I opened my eyes wide. My eyes flickered because of the piercing brightness, and at first, I thought the shadows that rushed outfrom between the trees were animals. Wild boars or deer—but they were dark-haired men dressed in black.
My heart soared.
Nathan!He raced through the swamp-green water followed by Kjertan, Rayk, Ian, and two other men. It was his expression when he spotted me that rallied the last of my strength. His eyes—initially terrified to death and then his grim determination. I forgot about the gun that was pointed at me, jumped off the veranda, and ran across the narrow strip of grass to the bank. Someone shouted, “Watch out!” A scream of anger followed and then a shot rang out behind me, something rumbled and men screamed. I smelled smoke and fog, and staggered, believing I had been hit, and at that moment, Nathan reached me. He wrapped his arms around me, protective, warm, and strong.
“Will!” How long had it been since I heard that name? Nathan wanted to say so much, but his voice broke and he suddenly pulled me around so that he was standing in front of me.
“Out of the way, Nathan!” There was pure hatred in Isaac’s words and he seemed ready for anything.
I blinked and saw him on the porch, his forehead covered in blood, but still terrifying and overpowering. Mykonos was lying on the porch next to him, apparently knocked over by Taurus like an angry bull. Taurus had deflected Mykonos’ shot, but now Isaac had the gun. He was aiming at me or rather at Nathan, who was standing in front of me. Suddenly, I heard new roaring from the swampy forest. The voices of the men who I had heard day after day for the past few weeks, men who had not helped me but who had been amused by my suffering. Who had listened to music and drunk downstairs as if it was all a lavish party.
The voices also made Isaac pause, who slowly approached us with his Glock raised. My legs were shaking so much that I onlyremained upright because Nathan was holding me. I turned my head toward the forest.
There were so many. Far too many men. At least, that was how it seemed to me. I was even more surprised when I only saw Billy and three dark-haired men, all men who had boarded the Agamemnon back then.
“It’s over, Isaac!” Nathan said now in a firm, clear voice. “This time, you’ll have to kill me to get to Willa!”
Giant shadows grew behind me. Kjertan and Rayk had climbed out of the water and positioned themselves behind me, forming a larger-than-life shield at my back. One of them held me tight, and I reflexively lashed out, but he didn’t back away. Instead, he gently but firmly released my hands from Nathan’s arm, which I was clinging to. I watched helplessly as Nathan walked toward Isaac. He had no weapon, but Isaac had the Glock.
“No! Don’t!” I screamed with an energy that filled me as if by magic. Nathan, however, didn’t stop and continued moving toward his half brother.
“Stop, Nath!” I heard Isaac growl. “Don’t take another step!” Through the massive arms of the twin who was holding me, I saw him pull back the slide on the Glock and load the weapon. Nathan was barely ten steps away.
“Go on, shoot me!” Nathan didn’t stop. “Go on!” In his dark clothes, he suddenly had the aura of an angel of death. Nothing seemed to be able to stop him. He was going to die or kill now.
For a split second, my vision blurred. The shot was ringing in my ears, but the next thing I saw was Nathan throwing himself at Isaac despite the gun pointed at him. His clenched hand flew into his face. Isaac dropped the Glock and fell to the ground. Nathan struck mercilessly and harder with each blow. He screamed and yelled, words that no one—or only I—could understand because of his fury. He dragged Isaac to his feet onlyto knock him down again with more punches and kicks.Just like they did to me! And to him too!Then, in a brief moment, he paused as if he had only now seen the head injury as if he had been blinded by anger before.
