But Dad isn’t here! It’s up to you.
I looked at Sparta. Everything was different now. I was different. I’d almost drowned. I’d been tied up and beaten. Nathan had locked me in a shed and his brother wanted to kill me. Taking off my clothes to please a dying man didn’t scare me as much as it would have months ago when it would have seemed absolutely unthinkable.
But I couldn’t do it. No man had ever seen me naked before, except Dad, and the only person I honestly wanted to take off my clothes in front of was Nathan.
Oh God!Just thinking about it made my cheeks burn.
“No…no, it’s not possible,” I heard myself stammer. I was certain I was as red as a beet.
Sparta looked disappointed. “Oh, come on, Willa!” he said with the pleading eyes of a little boy who really wanted a new car for his racetrack.
I quickly turned away. “No! Definitely not.”
“You could also change in a corner and I’ll just watch from a distance… How about that?”
I bit my lip. There was nothing wrong with it, but everything inside me was protesting. I didn’t want to undress in front of him. That wouldn’t be right. But what was right in this place or in this world? Nothing!
And Sparta would die. He only had a few days left and it would distract him a little from his misery.
But you are not to blame for his misery, preached the admonishing voice inside me.You don’t have to make it up to him. Or perhaps you do?
I turned back to him and felt guilty: because of Dad, and because one day, I could lead a normal life again, but he couldn’t. And I also felt guilty because I had wrongly suspected him.
“O-okay,” I said, embarrassed. “I…I’ll change. That…that’s what I was about to do anyway…” This way it didn’t have the cheap aftertaste of a striptease.
Sparta grinned, no, he was beaming from ear to ear. “But I’m going to go to the corner over there since my dress is there…”Strange, distracted, easy to control. Dad’s words came to mind, but a defiant part of me pushed them back.I’m not easy to control, I do what I want!
“Hey, that’s too far away,” I heard Sparta protest, but I still walked to the dresser in the middle area opposite the door.
There, I looked around and crossed my arms. “Here or not at all.” Sparta was at least ten paces away. Ten big man steps away. He wouldn’t see too many details.
“Okay,” he agreed, surrendering and looking at me encouragingly.
I hesitated. Relaxed my arms. Waited for nothing and everything.
He’s dying because of Dad! And even if Dad isn’t to blame, it’s his business!With hot cheeks, I stepped out of the short shorts before I could change my mind.
“Men’s underwear. Sexy,” Sparta commented as I glanced at him. He winked at me and laced his spindly fingers on top of the sheet in satisfaction.
I was certain I was crimson now. I felt awful, somehow cheap and corrupt, but I wasn’t going to back down for Sparta’s sake, so I quickly pulled the black t-shirt over my head. I was wearing nothing underneath. I felt the moist heat on my skin and drops of sweat ran down between my breasts.
“Wow… Nice tits. Firm and big enough to fill my hands,” Sparta said quietly. “Like my Grace…”
The word tits alone made me angry even though I had become accustomed to their language. I wanted to flee but I forced myself to stay. It occurred to me that I currently wasn’t doing what I wanted but what Sparta wanted.
Easy to control.
“Hey, Will, I won’t tell anyone,” he whispered roughly. “Keep going.”
I didn’t want to. I was only wearing my underpants. Suddenly, I felt self-conscious. What was I doing?
You’re doing a seriously ill man a favor. That’s all! Pull yourself together!
I hesitated and then slipped out of the men’s underpants.
“Naked as God created her,” Sparta whispered, looking at me with oversized, ravenous eyes. “Damn, your skin is smooth…don’t tell me you shave with that blunt razor blade too…”
Unable to make a sound, I grabbed my dress and was about to pull it on when the door flew open.
