“Naw, I just… I finally opened your Christmas present. Uh…”Why is this so fucking hard for me? It’s two simply words, but the longer I wait, the more my eyes sting.Again? This is bullshit, and I’m already sick of it. “Thanks, Mom,” I whisper, my breath catching at the release of fresh tears drowning out more of my resentment.
“Oh, Hunter.” She sniffles softly. “I’m glad you like it. I love you, my son.”
I nod like she can see me through the speaker, and another sob slips out of my mouth.Fuck this. My throat’s raw from the strain of the tears, but they won’t fucking stop. “I, um… Can I call you back?” I croak, realizing I’m not fit for a phone call after all.
“Of course. You can call me anytime—day or night—and I’ll answer. I’m happy you called, Hunter.”
“Me too,” I say weakly, feeling like it’s the truth for the first time in a long time.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
ASHLIE
“So you’re good?” I ask Kayla. Fort Bender’s calming breeze swirls around us as the tide whispers in the background. The rocky shore sets a calming background against the navy-colored deck at The Bluffs Estates. She’s busy fluffing the pink lilies Ijustplaced out on the patio table, her chevron blouse rippling in the breeze. Our friend Samson delivered the perfect bouquets from Forget Me Nots, but the party planner in her can’t leave the details to anyone else. She’s been following behind us all morning, refixing the decorations for her bridal shower today. “We’re still having a wedding here next week?”
“Yep!” Her smile beams across the table, her hands still at work on those flowers. “We talked everything out, and Chase had his finger ready to cancel all the reservations until I dropped him off at the airport last night.”
“What was the issue, girl?”
She smooths her hands over the blush tablecloth. “Our moms got in my head, and I spiraled.”
“Okay, but that’s an easy problem to solve. Why didn’t you just say that when I asked you fifty times?”
“I thought becoming a wife meant I was supposed to handle all the pressure on my own.” Kayla shrugs. “But I’m fine now. The wedding is still on.”
“Thank God! Are you excited?”
“Yeah. I really am.”
“Nervous?” I ask, walking around to her.
“Nope. Just ready.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and tip my temple to hers. “I’m so excited for you, girl. You deserve your ‘Happily Ever After.’”
“So do you, Ash,” she says quietly, pulling away to look into my eyes. “What’s happening with the Hunter thing?”
Chase filled her in about the bachelorette party the morning after. When my plane landed in LA, I had several voicemails from her, demanding I call her back ASAP. She kept me on the phone for hours, scrutinizing every last detail about Hunter and me.
Puffing out a breath, I sit on the edge of the patio table. “Nothing…” I swallow the thick cluster of guilt crawling up my throat. I’m getting comfortable in my inaction. It’s not that I’m doingnothing.Over the last couple of weeks, my therapist has been helping me work through some of my fears—speaking them aloud, writing them down and burning them, feeling scared and doing it anyway. It just turns out they’re a lot more deep-seated than I realized. I don’t feel like I’ve made enough progress to talk to him yet.
She raises an eyebrow. “Ash, I thought you called your?—”
“I did. And I’ve had a few sessions. I just…” I smash my lips into a flat line, hoping she’ll see the panic in my eyes and give me a break.
Instead, her arms settle across her chest as she leans against the wooden table. I didn’t think she could raise that eyebrow any higher, but here we are.
Speak the fears out loud, Ashlie. “I’m the one that asked for space, even though I’m the one that fucked things up in the first place. I’m nervous that it’s too late.”
“It’s not.” She doesn’t even blink when she says it.
“How do you know?”
“Because you two make sense. You complement each other. He’s impulsive and guarded, and you’re cautious and wear your heart on your sleeve. You can’t stand disappointing people, and he couldn’t care less what people think. It’s a balance that works with you two. Plus, you’re both annoying, so…” She giggles as she dodges my swat to her shoulder. “You told me on New Year’s that you love him. Did you ever tell him?”
“Girl, no,” I say, slipping my thumbnail in between my teeth. “I could barely say it to myself…”
“Do youstilllove him?”
