“What about emails?” I regret it as soon as I say it. The hurt that flashes across her face solidifies the punch to my gut.I’m a fucking asshole. That breakup email is still a sore spot for her, but frustration took over and I impulsively met her intensity with something to knock it out of the park. The lowest kind of blow.
“I can’t even look at you right now…” she says bitterly, dropping her eyes to the countertop. A vice grip squeezes in my chest. My thoughts twist together as I try to even out my breath, but the pit growing in my stomach as she looks everywhere except at me makes me panic.I need to get out of here.Fast. Walking to the counter, I snatch up my phone and grab my keys by the door.
“Where are you going?” she snaps as I reach for the doorknob.
“I need air!” I yell, slamming the door closed. Everything inside screams to turn back around, but then I remember that look in her eyes. The one that shouted all her regrets about this. Aboutme. My feet propel me out of the lobby and right into my car. It doesn’t fully register that I left my own goddamn apartment until I’m on the road.I just fucked everything up.
I drive aimlessly,hoping the heavy bass rattling my speakers will drown out the dark thoughts infiltrating my mind. It doesn’t, and I’m surprised when I finally park in front of Dad’s house. Trudging into the kitchen, I slump over the island. Despite everything that’s happened here, it’s still home. Still comforting. The lack of new messages when I slide my phone from my pocket makes me drop my head in despair. Why would she reach out to me when I’m the one who caused this mess?Fucking idiot. I roll my head around on the cool marble surface to unscramble the chaos twisting my insides.
“You alright there, son?” Dad says from the entryway.
“Fantastic,” I mumble, not bothering to lift my head.
“No Ashlie?” His deep voice has a knowing inflection, and I pop my head up.
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Because you’re here in my kitchen on a Saturday instead of with your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend…”
He chuckles. “You two still playin’ that game, huh? What happened?”
I sigh and get into it—the bet, Ava’s messages, my contact list, the dig about Marcus’s email. Dad stands opposite me, nodding and listening with a neutral expression. He doesn’t interject, doesn’t try to change my mind. He welcomes my messy word vomit, just like he did when I was younger. With burning eyes, my face hot from adrenaline, the dam breaks. My shoulders shake, and I’m tearing up so much, I can’t see him anymore. “She’s being unreasonable,” I say, trying to convince myself I’m not wrong about this and failing miserably.
“You dealt with a lot after the divorce,” Dad says.The fuck? What does that have to do with anything? “There were also some things you didn’t see.” He props his elbows on the counter and leans in. “Your mom may have left the house, but I abandoned her long before she ever left me, son. There were things she needed, things I neglected under the guise of being too busy with work. Small requests that I thought were inconsequential. That Iignored. I convinced myself she was being unreasonable, but if I would have taken the time to listen, they wouldn’t have turned into big things.” He gestures to my phone with an arched brow. “You’re a lot like me in that way, using distractions to hide from the tough stuff… But you’re also like your mom.”
“Like hell,” I spit back as red seeps into my vision.
“I’m not saying youareher, but you leave like she does. I passed down my distractedness, and she passed down her avoidance. You run, Hunter. When things get uncomfortable, you get away as fast as you can. Hide behind your anger so no one can touch you. You leave first, so no one has the chance to leave you.”
His words drench me in the kind of frigid reality that silences everything else. I have no rebuttal. How do you argue with the truth? Dad has a way of making things click, and right now, everything out of his mouth is making a hell of a lot of sense. I do run. Dipping before things get serious has been my entire MO since high school. I’ve never let anyone close enough to make me stay and fight.Until now.
“Son, you didn’t ask for advice, so I’m not going to tell you what to do. You have to make your own choice with all of this. What I will say is, I see a change in you when Ashlie’s around. If something is bothering her so much that she tells you about it, it’s worth considering her side.”
“And if I asked you for advice, what would you say?”
“Let go of all those trophies in your phone. Show Ashlie you care enough about her to move on from your past, like you told her you would when you presented your bet.” He reaches over and claps my shoulder. “And go home. You’re not fixing anything by sitting here in my kitchen.” Chuckling to himself, he grabs a drink from the fridge and heads upstairs.
I leave. I avoid. All things I’ve known about myself for years, but sometimes, tough love is the only way to knock some sense into my hardheaded ass. Now that it has, my sole focus is making this right.
It’s been hours since our fight, but since Ashlie drove to my place this morning, I doubt she stuck around after I stormed out. Fixing this on her territory might be for the best anyway, so that’s where I go. But when I get to her apartment, her assigned parking spot is empty.
Me
Where are you?
Ashlie
…
Me
Ash, please…
Nothing. And those damn bouncing dots are worse than her yelling at me. They’re the clear sign that she’s so furious she can’t decide which words to tell me off with. I try again, calling her this time, but it goes straight to voicemail.Damn it, she turned off her phone. My head falls against my seat with a sigh.Why would she come back to the first place you’d look?She’s avoiding you, dummy.But she has to come home eventually. I’ll wait as long as it takes.
Settling into my seat, phone in hand, I do the only thing I can think of. It takes almost an hour, but by the time I’m finished, I feel a little lighter. With no answer from Ashlie, I decide to cut my losses and go back home. I’ll come up with a game plan tonight, and hopefully, after a full night’s sleep, she’ll be ready to talk.
