Kayla giggles. “I thought it was his babies who were going to be ashy.”
“I think anything having to do with Bryan turned ashy,” Chase jokes back.
“You three laugh it up, but he’s here with his wife. And I’m pretty sure he saw me.” Ashlie lifts off her chair, hovering slightly as she peeks across the room.
No sooner than she sits, tall ass Bryan comes around the corner with a very pregnant replica of Ashlie. She’s short, with light brown skin and curly hair dyed a golden brown. You can tell it’s dyed by the black roots showing. But aside from that, and the ginormous belly, she looks eerily similar.
“Quick”—Ashlie turns to me—“pretend we’re together.”
My face pinches as I lean back to look at her.Is she fucking serious?
“Just do it!” she whispers through her teeth. Picking up my hand, she drapes my arm around her shoulders and laces our fingers. I glance across the table, wide-eyed, and the two lovebirds are cracking up as they watch the exchange.
“Ashlie? I thought that was you,” Bryan says with a smile, white teeth gleaming against his dark brown skin. He and his wife stop next to our table, and she rubs her belly in that motherly way, while Ashlie snuggles in closer to me. Close enough that her curls tickle my jaw, the light scent of her jasmine perfume drifting to my nose.
“Bryan?” she asks, forcibly changing her panicked expression into one of surprise. “It’s been forever!”
“It really has.” He nods, turning to look across the table. “And Kayla too? Talk about a blast from the past!”
“Hey, Bryan.” Kayla nods to the seat next to her. “This is my fiancé, Chase.”
Chase reaches his hand out toward Bryan for a shake.
“Fiancé? Wow, that’s exciting! This is my wife, Shaylee.” He looks at Ashlie expectantly. It’s almost painful to watch. How he found a near-identical replacement to his ex, even down to the similar names, is purely coincidental, I’m sure.Asshat. No one in this interaction wants to be here, except maybe Bryan, and I’m getting bored with the niceties.Time for some fun.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me,honey bear?” I ask loudly, hugging Ashlie tight as I nuzzle my face into her hair. I don’t know where “honey bear” came from, but it somehow fits her.
She stiffens, subtly jabbing me with her elbow before lobbing back with, “Yes, my sugar booger.” I nudge her foot, and she kicks me. “This is my”—she flinches when I tickle her side—“this is Hunter.” Smiling back at Bryan, she wiggles away from me slightly. Kayla and Chase watch the madness behind covered snickers.
“What’s good?” I reach over Ashlie to shake his hand. We’ve met once, five years ago, but he clearly doesn’t recognize me.
“And you’re her…?” He’s a little too interested, if you ask me. Especially with a wife who looks ready to pop any second.
“I’m the love of her life.” I wink at him and drape my arm back over Ashlie’s shoulders, wrapping the other around her middle. Discreet snorts float across the table as I turn up the act and nuzzle into Ashlie’s cheek. “Right, sunshine?”
“Yep,” she says through a gritted smile. I trail my finger over the strap of her dress, and she slaps my hand, playing it off as a tender hand grab. She turns to me with a sassy glint in her eyes. “We met at the car wash. He was shampooing his seats after a case of explosive diarrh?—”
With wide eyes, I press two fingers over her lips to silence the rest of her sentence. Kayla has a coughing fit, and Chase’s head is in his hands, shoulders shaking violently. “Oh,sweet cheeks”—I tut—“some things need to stay between us…”
“Well, that’s great. Really, Ashlie. We’d better go, but it was good seeing you. Both of you.” Bryan nods toward Kayla and turns to his wife, glancing back at Ashlie one last time before guiding Shaylee to the door.What a fuckstick.
“Looks like he has a type,” I whisper once they’re out of earshot. Ashlie sits still in my arms, holding her breath until they exit the restaurant.
“Boy, if you don’t get your hands off me…” She throws my arms from around her and scoots her chair away, causing my suppressed laughter to erupt from my throat. “What wasthat?” she asks, glaring at me. “I said act like we’re together, not maul me.”
“Hey, you asked for it,” I say, breath hitching from residual snickers. Kayla and Chase finally lose it, and Ashlie bites her cheeks, trying to keep herself from falling out too.
“Honey bear?What kind of pet name is that?” She covers a giggle with the back of her hand.
“You called mesugar booger. I’m pretty sure that’s drugs.”
“That’s booger sugar, you dumbass,” Ashlie tries to say with condescension, but she ultimately gives in to the collective snorts and giggles.
“Dumbass? Is that another pet name?” I mimic back.
“Ugh! You’re so annoying!” She rolls her eyes, arms crossing tightly.
I smile widely. “I know.”
