Kayla reads the email and scoffs. “Somehow, this doesn’t surprise me.”
“What the hell isthatsupposed to mean?” My arms settle over my chest, fists balled tightly.
“It’s on brand for you. He was a horrible boyfriend, and I told you he would be after he showed up an hour late for your first three dates.”
“He’s a doctor. Things come up!” I dig my fingernails into my palms, frustrated that I’m still defending him, and pissed that she’s calling me out.Yes,I date shitty men. I don’t need her making me feel bad about it. “He was everything I was looking for—smart, successful, attractive. So what if he was late a few times? I’m late to things all the time.”
The finger aimed in my direction calls me out before her words do. “And that, right there, is why this keeps happening. You get defensive and double down instead of hearing what I’m saying. The guys you date don’t treat you well, Ash. You latch on to how they look on paper and won’t hear anyone’s concerns until they break your heart.”
“Oh, I hear you…” My eye roll is unstoppable. “All in my business with no permit.” She’s been on me about my taste in guys for years, along with Hunter and my sister, Willa. Everyone telling me what to do is really starting to get old. “Since you know everything, why don’t you set me up with all thegreatguysyou’re surrounded by?” She doesn’t know any guys besides her boyfriend, so I gasp sarcastically. “Oh, wait…”
Her eyebrow quirks. “Maybe I will.”
Wait… Does she actually know a guy? “Whatever. It’s not like he came with a warning label.”
Kayla’s eyes bug out of her head. “He was a walking red flag, Ash! You just saw what youwantedto see. At the end of the day, he treated you like an option instead of a priority. No different than Tyson. Or Logan. Or Brett?—”
“Okaaay, you can stop now. Damn!” Defensive is my middle name, but who the hell wouldn’t be when someone’s calling out all your flaws?
“I’m just saying, this is your pattern. You’re so scared of trying something different and failing that you keep striking out with these douchebags. Ever since Bryan?—”
“So, you’re calling me a failure now?” That name sends a wall of deflection around me. She knows I don’t talk about him. He was the controlling wolf in sheep’s clothing who kicked off my string of bad dating habits. The longer we have this conversation, the worse I feel about everything. Bringing him up right now is a low blow.
My doomed relationships aside, I’m fully aware I’m a walking disappointment. I used to be so good at everything. From childhood, all the way until I graduated from the University of Los Angeles, I didn’t have to work too hard to be successful. My grades were always A’s and B’s, and I was the popular girl, no matter where I went. Hell, I was the damn swim team captain my senior year in college. Failure wasn’t ever something I experienced. Once I started teaching though, everything changed. I wasn’t inherently good at managing my time, or anything else anymore. I struck outhard.
Why won’t this emptiness go away?
As if she can hear the berating thoughts in my head, Kayla bumps me with her elbow. “Being dumped in a shitty way doesn’t make you a failure, girl. You taught me that. But choosing to ignore habits that harm your self-esteem…that’s a surefire way to fail.” She places a hand on mine and squeezes, sitting with me while I spiral internally. Her words hit deep, but maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s time for me to do something about my fear of striking out—with dating and everything else in my life.
A tear slips down my cheek, and I close my eyes, blowing a dejected puff of air from my lips. I’m cutting my losses and leaving our conversation where it is.Talk about a melancholic way to end girls’ night.
My phone buzzes again.
Hunter
Cake crisis averted.
I have more important things to worry about right now, like my best friend’s engagement.
CHAPTER TWO
ASHLIE
“Ithink you actually pulled it off,” I say, fluffing my curls before turning from the window.
“Are you nervous?” Trevor asks, clapping Chase on the shoulder.
Chase adjusts his tie before patting his pocket. “Nope. Not at all.” It’s early October, but his smile rivals the Los Angeles sunshine gleaming over his sandy blond hair. His ivory skin almost matches the lightly toasted color of his suit as he smooths a hand over it, minutes away from proposing to Kayla. Chase Wilmington might possibly be the most patient man on the planet. It’s been five damn years; this step is long overdue.
So far, everything has gone off without a hitch. The event hall is decorated with blush pinks and champagne hues. Fuchsia lilies surround white peonies in the center of each round table. It’s absolutely gorgeous. I’m happy for my best friend, but a twinge of longing weaves through me.When will I find my forever?
Twenty-six is still young, but the older I get, the more I worry I’ll never have the chance to settle down. Ilovelove. The butterflies, public displays of affection—all the cute little clichés that make romance what it is. There’s just one problem: love hates me.
Why are you making this day about yourself?So selfish?—
The double doors in the back of the room swing open, snapping my attention to where it’s supposed to be. Kayla walks from the venue’s kitchen completely awestruck, locs swept over the shoulder of her pink floral dress. Chase meets her in the middle of the room with a smile full of so much adoration, it’s hard not to smile too. Witnessing their promise to permanently join their lives together brings a few tears to my eyes. I truly love this for them.
“They’re pretty great together…” Trevor’s deep baritone makes me jump as he sets his drink on the refreshment table beside us. He straightens his navy-blue suit jacket, glancing at the pair, then gives me a dimpled smile. Trevor works with Chase. We briefly met a few years ago when Kayla and Chase moved to their new apartment in San Francisco. He came to help, bulging muscles in all their glory, right as I was leaving.
