Chapter 34
Stella
Hearing Matthew callme ‘momma’ nearly caused my heart to burst with joy. When they both hugged me, I fought to keep the tears at bay. I didn’t want them to think I was upset by the name, but it was a double-edged sword. On one hand, I was beyond happy to have such amazing kids who wanted me to be their mom. On the other hand, I worried everyone would think it was too fast for Colton and me to become a family.
After Matthew got dressed, the four of us walked to the clubhouse, and the whole way, Matthew showed Anna how to control Zeus. The dog was eating up the attention, and when we walked inside, I slowed and looked down at the kids.
“No sneaking Zeus food from your plates, please. No one wants to smell him after he’s had people food.” I wrinkled my nose and waved my hand in front of my face, causing both kids to laugh.
They walked ahead of us to the table with the food, and I stood with Colton and watched as Matthew helped Anna make her plate. Together, they walked to a table with Iris and two other children I hadn’t met yet and took a seat. Zeus laid down behind Matthew’s chair, and I could see his eyes scanning the room briefly before he closed them and took a nap.
“Hey, guys,” a sweet voice said from behind us, and we turned to see Hailey, Jacob, and Jasmine walking into the clubhouse.
I hugged Hailey as Colton and Jacob knocked fists.
“How was the slumber party?” Hailey asked, and I smiled.
“I forgot how wiggly little kids are when you share a bed with them,” I responded, and she smiled.
“Was I a wiggle bug?” she inquired, and I briefly cast my eyes down.
When I recalled something, I always felt guilty, thinking of what she’d lived through while I was held captive. It would take a long time for the guilt to dissuade, but when she reached out and took my hand, I brought my gaze up to meet hers.
She didn’t appear upset or mad, so I answered her question. “You liked to plaster yourself to my back and run your feet up my legs.”
Jacob leaned close and said, “She still does that. The first time I felt her feet, I nearly jumped out of my skin.”
The four of us chuckled, and Colton winked at me before saying, “Hatchet, why don’t we grab the ladies a plate while they visit?”
“Sounds good, brother,” he replied, leaving Hailey and me alone with Jasmine.
She guided me to one of the couches along the far wall, and we sat down while Jasmine rested at her feet. I looked down at the dog and back to Hailey. “Has she been a good dog for you?”
“She’s the best,” Hailey responded and reached down to scratch the dog’s ears. “Do you want to tell me what’s running through your mind?” she asked without looking up for Jasmine.
“It’s nothing, really,” I started and then decided I needed her opinion. She was new to the club like I was, but she fit in so perfectly. And I valued her opinion. “The kids called me momma this morning, and I’m wondering if it’s too soon.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Absolutely,” I responded, and prayed she didn’t ask about her father.
“Do you love Matthew and Anna, even though you met them only a few days ago?” I nodded, and she continued. “Do you think they called you that for any other reason than they love you?” I shook my head, and she pushed on. “Do you feel like they’re replacing me as a surrogate?”
“Hell, no. There’s no one who can replace you,” I vehemently defended.
“Then stop overthinking it. I can promise you one thing. I’m not upset, angry, or anything but happy for you and them. They’re good kids who deserve a good mom, and they’ve got the best with you.” She leaned closer and added, “Besides, this club is filled with insta-love stories that would make your heart swoon.” I snapped my head at her, and she smiled with a nod. “Almost everyone here knew they were looking at their one within days of meeting each other, and most fell head over heels within hours, maybe minutes. When the heart knows, it knows.”
“When you put it that way,” I remarked, and both of us chuckled as we watched Jacob and Colton finish making our plates.
Colton lifted his chin to me as he placed the plates onto a table and pulled out two chairs. Jacob joined him as Hailey and I walked across the room. I looked at Matthew and Anna, who were laughing with the other club kids as they ate, and seeing their merriment made my heart lighter.
As we enjoyed breakfast, a few of the brothers I saw yesterday afternoon walked by and nodded at me. I was wearing the shirt that proclaimed me as Hawk’s old lady and I was proud of it. A part of me always wanted to be his, but the timing was off for both of us. I was healing from years of torture, rape, and random beatings, and he was trying to exorcise the demons from his life. I hated that he met that crazy bitch of an ex, but without her, Matthew and Anna wouldn’t be here.
They were something I wasn’t sure I could’ve given him, and I wouldn’t trade them or him for anything.
