‘And I can vouch for that!’ Dexter agreed. ‘Melts in the mouth, that stuff.’
‘I’ll go and put the kettle on,’ her dad said. ‘Then you can tell us all about your trip.’
It felt so good to be home – even though there were memories of her time visiting there with Laurie at every turn. Sometimes even a grown woman needs her mum and dad.
* * *
Millie had arrived at the house in Mistford an hour before Juliette, just as she had promised. She had filled vases with flowers, put milk in the fridge and had even brought home-made lasagne and fancy cakes to welcome her home. She had been hugged to the point of breathlessness and cried on by her best friend, but there was no getting away from it; for Juliette, being back in Mistford was strange.
The house didn’t feel like home. Nothing had changed, yet she felt like she was checking in to a holiday cottage. Bizarre that she should have the feelingtherebut not at the cottage on Skye. She had been away for three months though, so perhaps it would take a little acclimatising for things to feel normal again?
She hoped that’s all it was.
She unpacked her belongings and sat on her own bed for the first time in months. The smell of Laurie’s aftershave had faded in her absence – if it was ever really there at all. Perhaps it had been a figment of her imagination; a way of holding on that bit tighter to the man she’d loved for so long.
After a quick shower, she dressed in yoga pants and a baggy sweater – things she would never be seen wearing in public, but, seeing as she only had Millie for company, it was fine.
They sat and ate the lasagne at the kitchen table, chatting about the museum and the people Juliette had met there. She told Millie all about Caitlin and Morag and how they’d been so good to her. She revelled in sharing stories of her dancing abilities – or lack thereof – and even attempted to show Millie a step or two. They had ended up in a knot, giggling profusely. She told Millie about the Highland Games and, of course, the muscular men in kilts that she knew her friend really wanted to know about. In fact, they talked about everyoneand everythingJuliette had encountered – with one major exception.
Millie grabbed a corkscrew from the drawer by the fridge and, focusing her attention on opening the bottle so she didn’t have to look directly at Juliette, she asked, ‘Have you heard from Reid?’ She finished opening the bottle of Pinot Noir under the guise that it was seven o’clocksomewhere.
Juliette didn’t feel like talking abouthim. But she knew how concerned Millie was and didn’t want her to worry unnecessarily. ‘Not since the message he left. It’s fine though. I’m putting it behind me and moving on.’ She waved a dismissive hand as if doing so would demonstrate her point further. She omitted to mention the wrapped parcel that she was yet to deal with. She knew it was one of Reid’s paintings, from the shape and size of the package, and she knew she would love it. But she also knew how much it would hurt to see whichever one he’d chosen from his collection to give to her.
Millie poured crimson alcohol into two glasses and eyed her with suspicion. ‘It can’t be that easy, honey. I know you really liked him.’
‘Well, it wasn’t meant to be, so what else can I do?’
‘I don’t know. But what Idoknow is it’s given me hope that you’ll love again in the future.’
Juliette smiled despite the ache in her chest. ‘I think it’s made me realise a few things too, so it’s been a good lesson, if nothing else.’
‘Like what?’
Juliette shrugged. ‘That being in a relationship isn’t what I need or want rightnow. It was all too soon.’ There was a little truth in there… butonlya little when she really thought about Reid.
Millie sighed and placed down her glass. ‘Well, you know my feelings on that, so I won’t repeat myself. And I think youdidwant a relationship, so don’t let this put you off completely. Not all men are going to be unreachable. And I think maybe he was scared too.’
Juliette pondered this for a moment. ‘I think he probably was.’ She shook her head to shake away the images forming in her mind of Reid beside her in bed, his fingertips gently tracing her jaw. ‘Anyway, how are things going with you and Mr Dreamboat?’
Millie rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t do that. I know what you’re doing, Jules. I want you totalkto me.’
Tired and exasperated with the world at large, Juliette growled, ‘Ican’t, Millie, okay?’ Guilt niggled at her for the way she had snapped. ‘And before you ask why… It’s because I feel like such anidiot. I feel like I let myself get close to someone too quickly and it backfired on me. I feel like I fell in love with the whole damn place and that maybe, looking back, it was a huge mistake to ever go to Skye.’ Her voice wavered as her words came out in a rush. ‘Because they say you can’t miss what you’veneverhad. I had Laurie and look what happened; I had a little taste of a different life with the Lifeboat House Museum, which is something I never expected. And I wassoclose to falling for Reid, Millie. So bloody close. It’s stupid, but it’s true. The more I got to know him, the closer I got to Evin, the more we talked about our pasts, the stronger my feelings grew. It all happened too fast and I couldn’t control any of it. And now, all I ever seem to do is look back and yearn for things I can no longer have. When will I learn? When will I get it into my head that I’m notsupposedto be completely happy again? That I’m far better sticking with what I know. Staying as I am andwhereI am; alone with my books, my job and my memories. Why can’t I make it sink in? Why did I let myself hope?’
Millie took her hand. ‘You did all those things because you’rehuman, Jules. And youwantto be loved and to love again. You may not be ready to admit that to yourself, so it’s my job as your best friend to tell you, you did nothing wrong. You need to let go of this guilt you’re still carrying. Laurie wanted you to find love again. He told you so, didn’t he? He gave you his blessing. You’re too young to live the rest of your life as some bored, lonely old spinster, for goodness sake. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to find love and you deserve to give yourself a break.’
By this point, Juliette’s eyes had given up the tears she’d been stifling since her return and Millie had enfolded her in her arms to let her cry out all the anguish she’d been bottling up.
* * *
Before she climbed into bed, Juliette lifted the wrapped parcel from her wardrobe and smoothed her hand over the paper. Paper that Reid had touched and carefully tied a ribbon round. She’d held onto it for days now, unable to bring herself to open it; because, once she did, it really would be over. It was the last thing she had that connected her to him, and seeing it might break her again.
‘Time to rip off the bandage,’ she said to the empty room. And, after inhaling a long, shaking breath, she pulled apart the edges of the paper until the canvas was face down on her lap. She was about to discover which of his wonderful paintings he had chosen to give her. Was it the one of the village in all its summer glory? Was it the one of the mountains topped with snow? Or maybe the bridge they had walked and shared coffee beside? Slowly, and with a trepidatious breath, she turned over the canvas and gasped.
Tears streamed relentlessly down her face.
The canvas before her showed Juliette sitting by the inlet, a serene smile played on her lips, colourful bunting was strewn along the walls and railings, the sky overhead was the vivid blue of summer, and cloudless. The museum stood behind her, as beautiful as she remembered it. Her yellow summer dress was slightly rippled as if caught by a light breeze, her hand was outstretched and, balanced on her finger… a robin.
39
