“I’m sorry, darlin’. That’s the ecosystem at work. If I wasn’t sure she’d come right back, I’d remove her for you, but I think grabbing some eggs from the store tomorrow might be a better idea.”
“That’s okay,” I say, waving him off. “How’s the fertilizer coming along?” I ask. He’s been working overtime on his experiments the last several nights, and the last I heard, he just needed confirmation from a few more farmers that they’d utilize his fertilizer exclusively on some crops so he could confirm the efficacy.
He beams at me, uncontrolled excitement bursting through him in a way that revitalizes some of my energy. “It’s going amazing, Lols. I've had nothing but success with this batch, and the labs I’ve sent samples to have finished their tests. They’ve confirmed that the ingredients aren’t harmful to plants, animals, or waterways in the current concentrations, so I’m all set to drop them off to the farmers in this area.”
God, I love it when he gets all nerdy.“Oh my gosh, Ry! That’s incredible!” I shout, slamming my body into his, unable to contain the excitement and pride flowing through me. My arms wind around his neck, and he tugs on my thighs, wrapping my legs around his waist, nuzzling his face into my neck.
“Everything Lemmon told me I couldn’t do, couldn’t have, all the dreams she tried to crush, they’re right here at the tips of my fingers, Lols. I can feel it,” he whispers, and my heart aches for a past version of him who believed her cruel words.
“You’re amazing,” I tell him. “You will have everything youwant in this life and more,” I say, returning the words he’d given me not long ago.
He squeezes me tightly, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. “I hate to leave you, but I already promised I’d drop the fertilizer off. I shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours.”
I release him as his hands guide me gently to the ground. “Go! It’s okay. I’ve got to cleanse this house and get rid of all the bad energy that’s been following me. When you get home, we can do something to celebrate.”
“Can we go for a ride?” he asks, and even though I know my body aches and I’ve overdone it today, I can’t say no to that face.
“Absolutely, Ry. Drive safe, and I’ll see you soon.”
Ryder scratches Nugget behind the ears before gripping my chin to turn my face to him. He presses a kiss to my cheek and heads off toward his truck. “Lock the door, Lols!” he shouts.
I roll my eyes at him.Of courseI’m going to lock the door after what happened last night. I don’t care if it’s only three in the afternoon and the sun’s still up. Whoever’s behind this, and I’m almost certain it’s Lemmon, probably doesn’t care what time of day it is.
By the time I’ve finished changing the water under our bed and mopping the floors withagua de Florida, it’s nearly time for Ryder to return, and I still have the egglimpiato do. My hands cramp as I wrangle the mop bucket to the front porch, dumping the contents out into the grass.
I use the hose by the door, rinsing the bucket and turning it upside down to dry before going inside.
“One last thing, and then I can take a much-needed shower.” I head to the kitchen and get a cup of water together, setting it beside the egg. I take a deep breath, winding the egg around me like wrapping lights on a Christmas tree, careful to start from my head and not my feet. My knuckles ache as I hold the egg, passing it from onehand to the next.
I feel like I’ve missed some steps, but I can’t remember everything Mayte told me to do as I wind it around my back. My hands tremble, and tears stream down my cheeks, blocking my vision. This shouldn’t be sohard.
The egg slips, crashing to the floor with my spirits. I grab the cup, falling to my knees, the hard crack of the tiled kitchen floor against my kneecaps only making the tears come faster. I scoop the slimy contents up, trying to salvage it as I get it into the cup of water.
My hands are sticky, my knees are on fire, and hair clings to my sweaty forehead. Hanging my head, I deflate.This is all wrong.
I barely hear the knocks at the door between my angry cries. Ryder runs into the kitchen, dropping to the ground beside me. “Lola, baby, what’s wrong?” he asks, cupping my cheeks in his calloused hands.
“I dropped the egg,” I cry, hearing how unbelievably stupid that must sound to him. He looks around us, taking in the full scene for the first time since running in here.
“It’s okay, darlin’. I’ll get some rags and clean it up. It’s not a big deal, baby,” he says, his voice calm and soothing. He brushes my hair off my face, and my sanity seems to burn to dust with those periwinkle eyes.
“It’s not about the mess, Ry.” I shake my head, not having the energy to explain why I’m so upset, but I try. For him, I do my best to explain. “The egg is supposed to act like a vessel for the bad energy. When the body has been cleansed, it should tell me what’s been lurking around us, but I broke it before I could finish, and I’m not sure if I even did it right. It’s been so many years since I’ve practiced any kind of cleansing ritual.”
“I’m sorry, baby. Just tell me how to fix this, and I will.”
I shake my head, pushing off the ground and wincing as I stand. “It’s alright. I’ll just tell Mayte what happened later. It’s better that she help me do it anyway.”
“Wash your hands off, and I’ll go run you a bath. I’ll be right back,” he says, turning to leave the kitchen.
“No, I-I don’t want to be in this house right now. I think… Can we go for that ride after I get this cleaned up?” Today was supposed to be a good day, but every time something great happens, it’s followed by something awful. I refuse to let this keep us from celebrating his accomplishments.
He gives me a small smile with pain hidden behind it, buried deep in the endless expanse of those ocean eyes. “Whatever you want, darlin’.”
I wash my hands and press a cool towel to my puffy eyes, glad I have my first therapy appointment Monday to deal with some of these emotions. Ryder cleans up the mess I made and gives me a few minutes to get changed while he drops Nugget off with Bee and Harlan. When he returns, he drops to his knees in front of me, grabbing my left boot and helping me get it on before doing the same with the right.
My joints ache, and as simple a task as putting my shoes on might seem, it’s a daunting one when my RA flares like this. Struggling to get a shoe on would have absolutely pushed me over the edge, back into crying territory, and I’m endlessly appreciative of him.
We drive to the stables and get the horses ready. When they’re saddled up, Ryder positions his hands on my hips, hoisting me up, not leaving my side until I’m stable on Penny’s back.
