Lola rolls her eyes, standing. My lungs squeeze in my chest as her chair scrapes across the floor. Nugget jumps from his place on the floor, barking incessantly at the sudden break in silence.Saved by the bell, or the puppy, rather.
“I think that’s my cue to get out of here. I should probably get Isabela to bed anyway,” Mayte says.
I drop Lola and Nugget off at the house first, passing it on the way to Mayte’s, walking Lola in, despite knowing she can take care of herself. “I’ll be right back, Lola. Don’t answer the door, okay? I’ve got my keys. I’ll knock and let myself in,” I tell her with a pointed stare.
I’d never be able to live with myself if something bad ever happened to her.
“I’ll be fine, Ry. See you soon,” she says.
I nod, stepping out onto the porch, but I poke my head in one last time.
Lola holds my eyes, unspoken words traveling between us. Her lips tilt, and as she turns, she lifts the skirt of her dress over herbareass. “See you soon, Ry,” she says, shooting a wink over her shoulder and dropping the dress in place, sauntering out of the living room. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth as I gape at her, unable to move yet.
“Everything okay?” Mayte calls out to me from the open truck door. I turn, shutting the door behind me, and jog over to her.
“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.”
Chapter Forty-Six
PHOTO ATTACHED
FRIDAY, JUNE 13
Tonight has been sogood.
It was the perfect reminder of why I loved growing up here so much, the community we’ve built, and the amazing people and all their wonderful personalities that make Hidden Valleyhome.
By the time Ryder makes it back from dropping off Mayte, I’m riding on a high despite my earlier worries about my knee.
Ryder knocks three times fast, followed by three times slow, turning the key in the door and letting himself in. He’s scowling when he enters the room, locking the door behind him.
“Did you unlock the door for me?” he asks, and I shake my head.
“No. Maybe you left it unlocked?” I ask, a cold chill making its way over my skin at the insinuation that if he hadn’t, we have bigger problems.
I rub my hands up my arms on instinct, and he takes a seat beside me, cupping my face in his hands. “Lola,” he says, his words so small they shatter my heart. “I’m so sorry, baby. I was distracted, and that’s not an excuse,but?—”
I grip his cheeks, stopping his word vomit. “Ry, it’s okay,” I say, emphasizing the last word. His hands start to tremble, and his breaths come in short, fast bursts. “Nothing happened. No one is in here. I’m fine.I’m safe.”
I hope.
He clenches his eyes shut, blowing out a long, sweet breath that tickles my lips. Pressing his forehead to mine, he winds his arms around me and holds me close to his chest.
“I don’t want to live in a world without you in it, darlin’. And if I were responsible–”
“Stop. Nothing has happened, and nothingwillhappen,” I tell him, keeping my voice as low as possible, despite the very real fear gripping me by the throat. But that fear isn’t for myself. It’s for Ryder’s sanity and his shaking body in my arms.
We hold each other like this until his breaths have leveled out and he’s no longer trembling against me.
He runs a hand over my hair, smoothing it out of my face. “Mayte was right, Lols,” he whispers. “I do love you.”
I close my eyes, taking a steady breath. My heart continues to hammer against my ribs, but I somehow manage to speak. “I know, Ry. And I love you too.”
He pulls back, peering into my eyes, and those blue orbs of his glitter with so much hope. It kills me to crush those dreams, not only because they reflect my own, but because hurting Ryder is the last thing I’ll ever want. “ThatI’m sure of. What I’m not certain of is if I’m ready to offer you everything you deserve.”
His shoulders slump, and the brightness in his eyes dims. “You are all I’ve ever wanted, and having you home has made me happier than I can describe. But I also know you just left a man who never treated you how you deserved, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re running into the arms of another person. So, I’ll wait for your brain to catch up with your heart, okay?”
I swallow, willing the tears stinging my eyes to dry up. Ryder Lockhart has been the man of my dreams my entire life, and I’m officially deciding not to let fear get in the way of that. “Be gentle with me, Ry. I’m yours,” I whisper. “I always have been, but I need to take things slow. There’s just so much uncertainty, and our lives have changed so quickly, I’m just a little overwhelmed.”
