My cheeks heat, and I’m reminded of the many impure thoughts I’ve had about Lola since the day she stepped foot on Rosa Ranch. I most certainly donotfeel like a good man, not by a long shot, but I won’t tell her that.
I clear my throat. “Ready for dinner?”
Chapter Thirty-Five
MAMI’S BOY
FRIDAY, JUNE 6
I slump against the cushions,kicking my feet up into Ryder’s lap. He already has the TV queued up with what’s quickly becoming Ryder’s new favoritetelenovela,Secrets Signed In Ink. I love that he doesn’t bother acting like he isn’t just as enthralled by the plot twists as I am, and the other day, I came home from Mayte’s to findMamifolding laundry with Ryder while they binged the first season to get him caught up. My chest warms at the thought.
Nugget jumps onto the couch and settles beside me.
“I have no idea how she’s managing the life of a single mom while keeping her business open too,” I say, almost moaning when Ryder begins his ministrations on my feet, just like he has every night this week.
“Mayte is basically superwoman. All single moms are,” he says, agreeing with my unspoken sentiment. “We’ve all taken turns watching Isabela the last year, but I’ll definitely admit the task was much easier when she was sleeping half the time and she couldn’t physically go anywhere. Now that she’s walking, it’s a whole other ballgame,” he sighs.
Sadness and guilt settle in my chest. “Thanks for beingthere for her, Ry,” I tell him, stroking a hand down the length of Nugget’s spine.
“That woman is like a sister to me, Lols. I would never expect her to do it all on her own,” he says, and a choked cry slips past my lips, startling me as much as it does him. “Darlin’, what’s wrong?”
I swipe at the unruly tears. “Nothing, sorry.” I try to push the emotion down, but the guilt and resentment come on so strongly, I’m not in control of my body.
“Lola, I didn’t mean it like that,” he assures me, but I already knew he hadn’t. He’d never say something to intentionally feed the guilt I’m already living with. “I meant I live right around the corner from her, so of course I’d watch Isa when I can.”
I sit up, and Nugget stands, shaking himself out. He slips behind me, making himself comfortable on the stack of throw pillows I’d been leaning against. I guess lying down is officially out of the question now.
Ryder chuckles, reaching for my waist, pulling me into his lap. I melt against him despite knowing this is the last thing I should be letting him do if I really want to maintain that this isnota real marriage.
He runs a soothing hand down my back and kisses my temple. “No one expected you to be here, Lola. You were off living your life, and we’d all hoped it was a better and more fulfilling one. I’m so damn sorry it wasn’t, butplease,don’t feel bad you weren’t here. You haven’t missed much, besides a lot of cow crap and Isabela learning to do anything other than drool all over herself.”
That makes me crack a smile. “Thanks, Ry,” I say, leaning against his chest and turning my attention to the TV.
“Hey, Lols?” he asks before I can fully escape back into the show.
“Yeah?” I twist in his lap to get a better look at his face. His sharp jaw covered in scruff, full, biteable lips, and soul-searching blue eyes have my breath caught in my throat, his handsome features always enough to throw me off kilter when I least expect it.
“Would you like to learn to drive?” he asks, and my brows knit together, unsure where the question came from.
“I, well, I’m… Maybe?” I answer, unsure. “I haven’t given it much thought. Why do you ask?”
He smooths a palm down my spine, tugging on the hem of my shirt that’s ridden up, smoothing it over my skin. “Earlier, I was thinking about how you don’t have a way to leave if you need something, want to go somewhere, or just need to get away for a while. It reminded me of how many people I had in my life when I was married, and yet how incredibly alone I felt. Some days, I would go on long drives to clear my head, not returning until well into the night and I knew she was asleep so I wouldn’t have to listen to her yell.” His admission is like a gut punch I don’t see coming. I grip his cheeks in my palms, anchoring him to this moment with me. “I never want you to feel like you can’t get away or your options are limited. So, if you’d like to learn to drive, I can teach you, and we can go down to Dingo’s Dealership to pick out a safe vehicle for you.”
Hot tears pool in my eyes, my heart tugging in every direction from his thoughtfulness. “There’s a lot of newness happening all at once, Ry. I’m not sure I’m ready to add another thing yet, but I’d love that once I’ve settled in and have a better idea of how the studio is doing and whether or not I’ll need to pick up jobs elsewhere for a while,” I say, the words sounding watery.
He nods, leaning into my hold as he slides a hand between us to grip my chin and turn my cheek. He presses a soft kiss against the smooth skin, his scruff prickly, lighting up all my nerve endings before he pulls away, leaning into the soft couch cushions and pulling my body into his.
We lie here for hours, the soft rhythmof Ryder’s teasing filling the space between us, and with every laugh and comment, thetelenovelabecomes even more enchanting. His words lift me, deepening my connection to the drama unfolding on the screen, making it feel brighter, richer somehow.
“I’m glad Bexaida came over last week to explain the first episode to me because I was admittedly a little confused.”
“Oh?” I ask, my brows raised. “About what?”
“Well, my Spanish isn’t exactly fluent, so when the tattoo artist with a chip on her shoulder suddenly seemed to fall head over heels for the women’s health physician assistant, I thought I’d missed something.”
I wave a hand at him. “No, no. It’s a lust-at-first-sight sort of thing, but they eventually–”
“Stop! Don’t ruin it for me!” he shouts, cupping a hand over my mouth to silence me.
