“And she told you what?” I tread lightly, hoping with every fiber of my being that she hadn’t opened her big mouth and spilled the news of my diagnosis to the one person who would do anything in his power to help me.
“Now, don’t go doin’ that thing you always do,” he chides.
I quirk a brow at him. “And what would that be, exactly?”
“Where you close off and pretend like nothing’s wrong when it clearly is. You can’t be mad at Mayte. I’m nearly certain I tricked her into telling me without intentionally doing so.” That wouldn’t surprise me in the least.Lengua suelta.
“Fine. What’s this big discussion you came to have?”
“Marry me, darlin’.”
My eyes bug out of my head, threatening to fall to the floor like an overexcited chihuahua. “I’m sorry, what? You’re gonna have to repeat that for me because I’m certain I didn't hear you right.”
“Marry me, Lola.Please,” he says earnestly.
“You do realize Ijustgot out of a relationship and narrowlyavoidedgetting married, right?” Not that I’m mourning the end of my sorry excuse of a relationship with Russ.
“You need health insurance, Lola, and I looked into my policy last night. I can’t add anyone on until the next enrollment period in November—unlessthere’s a qualifying life-changing circumstance, likemarriage.”
He researched all this just last night?
“What’s in it for you?” I ask, suspicious of his intentions. I haven’t seen this man since the Christmas before last, and we’ve spoken to each other less than a handful of times since then. I know he cares about me, but enough to lock himself into another marriage?
He looks down at his feet, clearly uncomfortable, before his eyes finally lift to meet mine. “I really do want to make sure you get treatment, Lola.”
“I’m waiting for the ‘but’, Ryder,” I tell him, folding my arms over my chest.
“ButI know I messed up when Logan died, and I didn’t tell you how badly I was struggling with the loss. I know we’ve been over this before, but it kills me that I kept you out because of some poorly rationalized belief that you’d have run to my rescue. I should’ve leaned on you like you wanted me to, and then when Lemmon showed up, ready to listen, there was absolutely zero romantic intent behind it from my end. I only had eyes for you, but after you’d moved on and I was forced to listen to your mom and Mayte’s updates about your love life and how things had gotten serious with Russ, I thought marrying Lemmon just made sense.” He hangs his head, running a ragged hand through his unruly dark strands before meeting my eyes again. “I hadn’t known how badly she bullied you when we were kids. You were so good at keeping that hidden, never wanting to add more fuel to her fire, but I should’ve known, Lola. I should have asked more questions or donesomethingto protect you from her.” His voice lowers in a way that tells me he’s exhausted by this part of the conversation already. “I hadn’t taken care of your heart then, butplease, darlin’, let me take care of your health now.”
Nowthatmakes sense.Guilt is something I’m familiar with.
I get it now, but when Mayte first told me they’d eloped, it was hard to understand how they ever got married in the first place.
Lemmon comes from a well-off family intown, and nothing ever seemed to be good enough for her. Even as kids, she was always trying to prove she was better than me, but it wasn’t until we were adults that others started to see through the facade. You’d think that sort of thing would get exhausting, even for her.
When I broke things off with Ryder, the son of the largest rescue ranch owner in western Oklahoma, who happened to be a football superstar, I’d given her everything she’d ever wanted: the perfect opening to prey on a young man who was just desperate for someone to listen.
Lemmon was catty, entitled, and downright cruel in the way she spoke to me, but she acted like the perfect Southern belle when she was around Ryder.
Besides, she hadn’t even liked him for who he really was. She assumed he’d head to the NFL, make them both famous, and they’d ride off into the sunset together, preferably on a private jet rather than a horse.
If she’d known the first thing about Ryder Lockhart, she’d know he’d wanted to earn a degree in civil engineering with a focus in environmental protection. He had big plans for when he graduated to test out new methods of farming and raising cattle so he could pass the wisdom down to other ranchers and farmers for the betterment of our environment.
I imagine finding out he not only planned to do exactly that but that he accomplished it would have been a low blow to her perfectly curated plans.
But none of that is my problem, and I’m not running away from one marriage into another just for health insurance.
I’ll find my own way.
“No.” I point to the front door. “I think it’s time for you to go.”
Chapter Fourteen
FUTURE PLANNING
SUNDAY, APRIL 27
She may have saidno this time—not that I had made the proposal seem all that enticing— but I’m not giving up that easily.
