Aware that Joe was still gripping her hands and awaiting a response, Emily made a snap decision.
'I'm going to call her now. Tell her I knowshe knows. Ask her why she didn't tell me she knew. I'll deal with you later.' Emily fixed Joe with her best school mistress glare. He pouted back, still naughty schoolboy but facing detention rather than expulsion.
'Tabitha? It's mum. And a not-very-happy mum. Just when were you planning to tell me?'
Chapter 25
Tabitha gulped as she heard her mum’s tone of voice. She rarely got cross with her – the last time she could remember was when she was about sixteen and got horribly drunk on cheap cider and threw up all over an expensive Chinese rug. She certainly hadn’t donethatrecently and only two possibilities of what she might be concealing came to mind. The fact that she was seeing the delectable Adam, or the fact that she knew Emily was seeing the equally easy-on-the-eye Joe. Somehow, she doubted it was the former.
'Sorry, mum. I guess you know I’ve met Joe and— ' She struggled with what to say next. How to explain her initial shock but subsequent realisation that Joeseemedthe real deal, despite the age difference.
'But why didn’t you call me? Tell me that you’d met him? Was it because— ' Her voice suddenly went from angry to fearful, betrayed by a distinct wobble.
‘Mum, it’s OK. Really it is. I met Joe and – the truth is – I liked him.’
That clearlywasn’tthe reaction Emily had been expecting, judging by the sharp intake of breath.
‘All right, I’d imagined someone a bit older – well, alotolder – to be honest. I met his dad first and I just assumed he was the one you were seeing. Mind you, they’re both very attractive. Not that Ifancyeither of them, but you wouldn’t kick them out of bed for eating crisps!’
Her mum had snorted with laughter, no doubt amused by the charming turn of phrase. Tabitha knew she could be crude at times but she didn’t mean to be. She just said what came into her head and sod the consequences.
’So, you don’t disapprove? I was so worried you’d be completely horrified. But … the thing is, I think we could have a future together. It scares me to death but it’s also the most amazing feeling in the world.’
Tabitha found herself unable to speak, words failing to shift the emotional block in her throat. It was a bit like watching a romantic movie and struggling not to cry when all you wanted to do was bawl like a baby. She straightened up her shoulders and willed herself to keep it together.
’That’s exactly what he said to me. He said you had a future, and that the age gap didn’t bother him. And I absolutely believed him. So … if you’re totally fine with it … then I am, too.’
The conversation had continued for another ten minutes, Tabitha keen to bring her mum up to speed on the luscious Adam – Where the Hearth Is was certainly a hotbed of hotties – and her cunning plan to hook Steve up with Meryl. She was pretty proud of that one, although Emily seemed less convinced of it being a success. In any case, she was dying for the loo so brought things to a close.
‘Don’t worry, mum. I’mtotallycool with you and Joe. Just as long as I can be chief bridesmaid at your wedding!’
Emily sat quietlyfor several moments. Delighted as she was that Tabitha wasn’t filled with revulsion, she knew there were still many obstacles in the way of a happy-ever-after. Not least, the small matter of babies. Or, rather, the impossibility of them. Neither she nor Joe had ever raised the subject but she knew it had to be broached. And now was as good a time as any. Strike while the iron’s hot, wasn’t that the expression? Although she’d rather be branded with a hot poker right now than ask the question that could blow her shiny new world apart.
Joining Joe in the kitchen, Emily struggled to form a sentence. She watched his broad shoulders as he located pots and pans, retrieved a pack of bacon and a carton of eggs from the fridge. What was the old joke again?How do you like your eggs in the morning? Unfertilised.Ta da. She pulled up a chair at the counter, inhaled deeply and said: ‘Babies?’
Joe turned from his labours, one eyebrow raised in question. ’Sorry, Emily, I’m not sure I heard you correctly. Did you just say ‘babies’?’
You complete and utter idiot, thought Emily. For a supposedly educated and well-read woman her stunted vocabulary was pathetic. Another deep breath and try again. ‘I was just wondering if – you – wanted them. Babies, that is.’
His other eyebrow rocketed upwards with its partner. ‘Well, I’ve never had one for breakfast. Prefer a good fry-up myself but—‘ He faltered as Emily’s face crumpled and tears began to fall. And not delicate, lady-like ones but full-on snotty, gasping-for-breath ones. Enough to put any man of his breakfast, never mind anything more profound. Grabbing a handful of kitchen roll Joe rushed to her side.
‘Em, I’m sorry. I seem to be saying that a lot today but I am. Truly sorry. Please, calm down and let’s talk about this.’He thrust a wad of paper towel in to her hands and she swiped at her face, thanking the gods of small mercies that she hadn’t got around to putting make-up on. Because molten mascara combined with nasal secretions wasnota good look.
‘It’s just – we haven’t talked about it. Children. Because I’m past it and you’re in your prime. I guess I never thought we’d get this far. Maybe I’m jumping the gun but if we were going to continue – if weweregoing to take this any further – wehaveto talk about it. Because it would break my heart to get in the way of you being a father. It would just bewrong.’
Emily’s tears subsided as Joe took control of the tissue situation and dabbed gently at her face, all the time maintaining eye contact. She could lose herself forever in those eyes, drift away like a piece of flotsam caught on a rising tide. Why was life so bloodyunfair?You meet the man of your dreams only to be roundly smacked in the chops by Mother Nature saying, ‘time’s up, move along, make way for women with child-bearing hips and functioning ovaries.’ She might still have the hips but the ovaries had packed their bags, written their postcards and disappeared over the horizon.
‘Em. Emily. Listen to me. Very carefully.’ A hugely inappropriate snigger rose deep within her as she recalled an eighties sitcom she’d been forced to watch with her parents.I shall say zees only once.Not that Joe would remember it. He was of a younger generation, the ones who viewed reality TV as a normal part of life, not a shocking indictment of how low society would stoop in the pursuit of ‘entertainment’. Except shedidhave a soft spot for those two Geordie lads and the exploits of various dubious celebrities in the Australian jungle. Kangaroo testicles, anyone? Oh for God’s sake, woman, focus!
Joe finished dabbing and pulled Emily on to his lap.
‘Right, let’s get one thing straight. I donotwant – haveneverwanted children. Cross my heart and hope to die. Well, not literally. But it’s the truth, Emily. Since my early twenties, maybe even before, I knew that babies were not on the cards for me. Don’t get me wrong … ’ Joe paused, clearly seeing the bafflement on Emily’s face. ‘It’s not that I don’tlikethem, of course I do, I just never saw them as part of my life. The world is over-populated as it is. Maybe I’m weird or just downright selfish but I’ve only ever wanted to meet the right woman and not have to share her. Which might not go down well with other people but I’ve always been honest about it. Except with my last girlfriend but she didn’t have a maternal bone in her body anyway. My dad’s a bit miffed he’ll never be a granddad but he understands. Just because youcanfather a child doesn’t mean youshould.’
Emily looked at this earnest expression and realised he meant every word he said. Surprised as she was, her uppermost emotion was one of relief. They could carry on seeing each other as long as it lasted and she wouldn’t feel she’d metaphorically stamped on his biological desire to procreate. And if he changed his mind in the future …
As if reading her thoughts, Joe wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss on the top of her spinning head.
‘And Iwon’tchange my mind, Em. I always vowed when I met the perfect woman I’d tell her how I feel and just pray she felt the same. Now I have, and I really hope you understand. Because – the thing is – I love you.’
