“Please!” I begged into his hand. He let his grip slip a little so I could talk.
“Please let me go.”
“Shut the fuck up! Where is he? Where’s my son?” He shouted in my face.
“I promise I don’t know! I promise I don’t!” I cried. That was the truth. Terror wouldn’t allow me to know where he was keeping our son. I expected he knew a time like this would come.Kole drove the butt of his gun down hard on my jaw, causing blood to fill my mouth immediately.
“AAARGHH!”
“Shut up bitch! Tell me where he is!”
“I don’t know! Terror took him away from me. He won’t tell me where he is!”
Kole’s eyes crossed for a moment, and he popped his neck from side to side. This nigga was crazy as hell, and I prayed that he accepted what I was saying as the truth. When I saw him withdraw the gun from my face, I breathed out a sigh of relief. He tucked it, turned, and headed to the door. I thought he was going to leave, but instead, he locked himself in with me. My throat went dry, and I shrank even further into the hotel carpet.
“Get yo’ stupid ass up and go in the bathroom and fix yo’ face. When you come back in here, be ready to suck this dick.” He sat on the edge of the bed, and I shuffled to the bathroom as quickly as humanly possible. I spit blood into the sink and turned on the water. I looked at myself in the mirror, and the bruise on my cheek was already turning a blackish purple color. Tears fell from my eyes in big globs as I stared back at myself. I never thought I would be in a situation like this, but I knew no matter what happened, I would never give MJ up to this monster. Even if that meant death for me.
Chapter 28
Terror
Iwoke up to the sound of the shower running. I stared at the ceiling, trying to clear my mind. I looked around the room, and my clothes that were scattered on the ground were folded neatly on the nightstand next to me. It hit me that today was Dyami’s first day back to work. I could see the steam creeping in from under the master bathroom door. I threw the covers away and made my way there.
“You ready?” I asked Dyami as I leaned against the sink.
“Huh?” She asked, sticking her head out.
I was already naked, so I stepped inside. “I asked Are you ready?”
“For work?” She lifted her brow. “Yeah, I’m ready.” She nodded.
“Any more word on your mom?”
“No, I have been prolonging it as long as I can. By the end of this week, we are going to have to make a decision to put her in hospice or take her off.” She spoke with this detachment from the situation. She had analyzed this back and forth.
I began washing myself and waited, knowing she would eventually have more to say. I stayed behind her because she had the water set to boil.
“It’s just Trina, you know? What am I going to have to tell her about this? Do I keep my mother alive if there is only a shell there? Wouldn’t that be more about us than about her?” She said, moving her hair out of the way as I worked up toward her neck.
“I understand that Trina will have a hard time with it, but what about you? How does this shit make you feel?”
“Really, I don’t know. I don’t even think I have the capacity to feel. I hate how our last conversation went, but I also don’t want to just keep her alive if no one is home. I don’t want to lose her, but am I more obsessed with who she can turn into, or did the demons finally win?”
“God is the one who has the final say. I couldn’t imagine being in a situation like that. I support whatever you feel is right. You and Trina don’t have to worry about shit. I got y’all. I even had my Mom talk to Trina, and I think she got to her.”
“I pray she does. I just get so tired sometimes.” She turned to face me and walked me back a few steps out of the water. “There has always been this weight on me since I was a child. Making sure that Trina was good. I mean fed and clothed, picked up from school, homework, and making dinner. As she got older, it got easier, but I would have nightmares thinking of the day I would be walking the streets or driving down the road, and I would see my mother’s dead body somewhere strung behind a dumpster or something. Like, if it’s in a hospital, at least she could die with some dignity. Without embarrassing her children. I feel like I have never taken a breath all these years. Maybe if she is gone, I could.”
I listened to her intently, and I saw her unravel slowly. She burst into tears, and I rubbed her back and stroked her hair. Dyami felt shit so deeply and always had. She tried to push up from me.
“I’m a fucked up person for feeling like this!” She fought out.
“Feelings don’t have to make sense. You have been through a lot, and you have handled shit better than anyone I know. You have every right to be tired of this bullshit you're going through. Just know you don’t have to carry this situation. Trina and your mom? Just come to me and tell me what you need. Fuck that, just go get it, you know where my safe is. You don’t even have to carry yourself. I can do that.” I scooped her in my arms and carried her out of the shower.
“I know how it feels to carry someone. As long as I can, I will never be a burden.” She wiped her eyes.
“You never are. How about you take care of me and I take care of you.”
“I like that.” She finally graced me with a smile, and I dropped her on her feet. “Thanks for making me feel better, baby.” She kissed me.
