“Are you calling Marcos? I just called Chubby, and he can’t get him either,” Chante said as we were sitting at the light. As she spoke, I saw an ambulance and three police cars fly by, and my heart stopped. I guess Jay did call for help because they were headed in the direction of my mother’s house. He was going to tell. I couldn’t trust him not to. I pecked away at my phone, wildly sending Marcos another round of messages.
“LET ME OUT OF HERE!” Trina sobbed, and that’s when Chante lost it.
“Little girl! If you don’t shut the fuck up and sit the hell down! You really trying to pick a married nigga over your sister? I don’t give a fuck how young you are, you know better! You don’t know shit about nothing! Just because that nigga lay with you, you think that means something? You got a lot to learn!”
“You think that’s the only man I fucked? I fucked plenty of grown men! How the fuck do you think I make it? I am just as grown as you! Jay showed me that, and if I got to fuck to get what I want, I will, and it's none of y’all damn business! I can’t believe you did that, Dyami!”
Chante slammed on the brakes at Trina’s words and threw the car in park so fast my head hit the dashboard. She got out of the car, pulled Trina out, and hemmed her up against the vehicle. I got out as quickly as I possibly could. Trina was like a little sister to Chante as well. She would do for her just like I would. We were even about to go half on her homecoming dress, so I knew she wouldn’t hurt her. With that being said, I even had to admit I was shocked by my sister’s words. When did she become like this? Was I this out of touch with her?
All this time, I thought she was with her friend. She was really doing God knows what. No wonder she never wanted to stay with me. When I rounded the car, I tried to de-escalate the situation as quickly as possible, but Chante was already on a tear.
“You think you the only one walking around here willing to give these niggas pussy? You would rather use what’s between your legs rather than what’s between your ears, then lil’ baby, you gone have a fucking rough life! But I tell you what you won’t do, you won’t compromise your sister for your bullshit! She could be the only person you have left. Your mother is in a fucking hospital and we don’t know how the hell she is doing. We come over there to tell you, and you got your ass up like you grown! What you will do is sit in this car, shut the fuck up, and take this ride! Whatever happens to Jay happens to Jay!”
Chante’s chest was heaving up and down like she had just been in a twelve-round bout. I’d never seen her so angry since I met her. I thanked God she was here to control the situation because I don’t know what the hell I would’ve done. I never thought my sister would be like this. I saw Trina swallow a lump in her throat, and she turned to me.
“Mimi, what’s wrong with Mom?”
“Look, we will talk about that soon. Right now we need to get in this car so Chante can take us…”
“We are going to meet Chubby. He said he has one of Marcos’ spots where we can stay for a minute. He told him to go there in case of an emergency. Let’s go.”
We all got back in the car, and I couldn’t help but think that Marcos was still missing. And what did they mean by one of Marcos' spots? How many “spots” did he have? I was calling him and messaging, and there was still no response. I didn’t want tothink he was with someone else, but it was my go-to response. How much was he hiding from me? After what I’ve seen with Jay, I could believe anything. Marcos and I had a connection in the past, but how much did I really know about him? That’s how my ass got caught slipping all this time with Jay. Not keeping my eyes open and hoping that the little nagging voice in my head got me absolutely nowhere. This was just another red flag.
Chante picked up on my thoughts, and as we came to a stop in front of a house, she placed her hand on my leg to soothe me.
“It’s been a crazy night, boo. Don’t let your imagination run wild. We are here now. We are safe, and I’m sure there’s some explanation as to why he isn’t answering.”
I nodded as we got out of the car. The house was massive, and Chubby was standing in the doorway as the light seeped through. We walked in, and Chubby was already trying to explain Marcos’s absence to me. I wasn’t trying to hear anything at this point. Whatever was happening with him had to be more important than responding to me, so in my opinion, he made his choice. Chante took Trina to a room to get settled after I briefly described to her our mother’s overdose.
With the way Trina acted, she better be glad I was even speaking to her at this moment. I had to find a way to go on after all this, and I had no idea how. Jay was a lot of things, and I’m sure he would be pushed to talk by the police. He had no reason to defend me after what I did to him, so I couldn’t tell what my fate would be.
I entered the shower in the bedroom. I stripped my clothes away, not giving any thought to the fact that I didn’t have anything else to wear. I looked in the massive mirror in the bathroom, and my clothes and face were covered in blood. Myhair was all over my head, and I couldn’t do shit but cry. I was a strong person, and I knew that. Some things have the power to break you down. I don’t care how strong you claim to be.
I never tried to fuck anyone over, but time after time, I was getting the short end of the stick. I was supposed to be enough to be loved without suffering. That just had never been the case. My mother never chose me, my sister was on the verge of betraying me, Jay was a nasty, trifling ass liar, and Marcos was nowhere to be found. I stepped into the shower and curled into a ball on the tiled floor as the water cascaded over me. I had to find some way to get through this.
When I felt the water turn cold, I turned it off, dried off, and dressed in what I assumed were Marcos’s sweats and a T-shirt, which swallowed me whole. I wanted to be home, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea.
I went to search for Chante as I walked into the massive kitchen. That’s another thing that was plaguing my mind. Who has a whole extra house just lying around? All this shit coming out was giving me bad vibes. Was this where he brought his other females? Who’s to say he couldn’t be living another life, too? As soon as I walked into the dining area, Chante and Chubby immediately stopped talking.
“How you feelin’?” Chante asked.
“How you think?” I snapped. I know she didn’t deserve my attitude, but I was on edge.
“I just got in contact with T. He should be pulling up any minute,” Chubby said.
“Well damn, I’m glad he can finally call somebody, even if it ain’t me!” I shot.
“I know it’s crazy, but he was in some shit.” Chubby tried to cover for him.
“Fuck him! I want to go home, Chante.” I pivoted the conversation.
“Babe, you've been through a lot. You need to worry about resting. Marcos—"
“FUCK MARCOS! Fuck all these niggas! I am not worried about anybody’s excuses. If he was with some other bitch that’s all you got to say! I know that’s your boy, so you won’t say it, but I am not dumb, Chubby! It is the middle of the night, and that nigga is unaccounted for. What the fuck else is he doing? Like I said, I want to fucking go home! If I only have a few days of freedom left in my life, I want to spend them sleeping in my own bed!” I was an emotional mess, but I couldn’t stop my words from flowing like lava.
“Calm down. What do you mean by freedom? Nothing is going to happen. I told that nigga he better not talk, and he won’t. Trust me, he knows I meant every word!” Chante said.
“Plus, T gone take care of shit. That nigga is nothing, even I know that,” Chubby said, trying to pacify me.
