The bed is still warm beside me, but empty. The space where he lay holds the shape of him like a ghost. The room is dim—curtains drawn, quiet but not still. I roll to my side, hair tangled across the pillow, and reach for my phone on the nightstand. The screen lights up harsh and blue against my face, but I barely notice.
My inbox hasn’t changed.
At the top, like it always is, is the message I still haven’t answered.
My ‘mother’.
I stare at it, thumb hovering, something in my chest clenching the longer I look. My stomach twists. Maybe it’s the dream still clinging to me, echoes of sharp words, empty plates, long corridors where love was meant to live but never showed up.
The nightmare was hazy, but the feeling it left behind isn’t. I was a child again. Cold. Small. Watching my mother walk out the door with my name still on her tongue, but no intention of speaking up for me.
I think of Dr. Monroe’s voice again; calm, insistent, the way it always was when I wanted to dodge the hard questions.
“You don’t need her to fix it. But you need to tell her the shape of what she broke.”
I let out a slow breath. My fingers move.
I’ll be back somewhere in about a week. Maybe a little more. Let’s talk. We’ll discuss the time and date once I’mback.
I hit send before I can talk myself out of it.
The second it’s gone, my chest tightens, but not from panic. Not quite. More like release. Like something old just loosened its grip on my ribs.
I fall back onto the pillow, letting the screen come to life again.
Then I smile faintly and open another thread, messaging Ada.
You alive?
Her reply comes back instantly, like she’s been waiting for someone to ask.
Ada
Barely. You?
Nervous for what’s going to happen. Sleep was hell. Head’s a mess.
A pause.
Then another message buzzes in:
Same here. Dominik’s at my place.
I blink. Sit up.
Shut up.
You two have been seeing each other solely?
Is that a date?
The typing dots appear immediately, and my grin grows despite everything.
Maybe. Don’t tell anyone, we’re just having fun together in the midst of this entire mess. Nothing has happened yet, but I like him ;)
I pause, thumb hovering above the keyboard.
A part of me wants to tell her, wants to say I finally told him.That last night cracked open a vault I thought I’d sealed for good. That Aslanov held me while I broke and never looked away. That he said he would’ve given everything up for what we lost.
