It’s quiet.
And God, that hurts more.
I shake my head, curling in tighter. “It’s nothing,” I manage, even though I know he won’t believe me.
A beat of silence.
“I know the difference between silence and sadness,” he says, voice low. “This… isn’t nothing. You’ll need to let me in, just like I’m letting you in.”
I try to breathe, but it feels like shards in my throat.
He shifts slightly, just enough to look at me. Not with frustration. With patience.
And that, his patience, is what undoes me.
“I—” My voice breaks. I can’t say it. I can’t bring it out of me without falling apart. I squeeze my eyes shut, and for a long, trembling moment, I stay there, drowning in the pressure behind my ribs.
“I never took contraception,” I whisper eventually. The words are barely there. A confession made to the water.
He’s quiet beside me. I can feel him watching, but he doesn’t speak yet.
“I know,” he says finally.
That makes me turn, shocked. My breath stutters.
“You knew?”
He nods once. Slow. “Because you don’t need it.”
I blink through the water slipping down my face. My mouth opens to question, but he’s already answering.
“I read your file,” he says gently. “Remember? Your medical reports, too. I know you have Graves-Hughes Syndrome. I know what that means concerning fertility.”
His voice is a thread, careful and without blame.
I swallow hard. “I do. But I… I went on contraception after.”
That stops him.
He turns more fully toward me, brows drawn in something between confusion and growing concern. “After what?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. Hard. I taste copper.
A sob slips out before I can trap it.
His face changes, sharp angles softening, tension melting into something I never thought I’d see on him. Worry. Real, human worry.
He reaches out, but slowly. His fingers touch my arm like I might break beneath them.
“What happened?” he asks. Still soft. Still calm.
I try to breathe. Try to force the words past the knot in my throat.
“I got pregnant,” I say, and I hate how small my voice sounds. How broken. “Against every fucking odd. I got pregnant.”
He freezes.
His hand stays on my arm, grounding me. His eyes search mine like he’s afraid of what comes next.
