I turn to look at her, as hostile as a tomcat, and have the urge to tread carefully. “Something wrong?”
“Mom says she told you that you’re my dad.” This is tossed at me with defiance, as if she expects me to deny it.
“Yes, she did.”
“Don’t you believe her?”
“Of course, I believe her.”
“But you didn’t tell your friends last night that I’m your daughter.” She looks, if anything, even more furious. “Are you ashamed of me?”
“No! Of course not.”
“But?” she invites, a challenge in her eyes. She looks ready to breathe fire and I realize a bit late how important it might be for her to be acknowledged by me.
Maybe this cause isn’t lost just yet.
I lean back and take it slow. “Okay. This is all new, right?” I glance her way and she nods warily. “And your mom is really disappointed in me. She thinks I let her down when you were born.”
“She said you said you didn’t get her letters. You didn’t know.”
I’m touched that Sierra’s ready to defend me. “But she still feels betrayed and that’s fair. I’d feel the same way in her place.”
“You would?”
“Of course. You trust someone. You count on them to make something right or at least talk about it, but when you ask for their help, you get stone-walled.”
“Ghosted.” She nods wisely.
“I’d be more than disappointed,” I note.
“I’d be mad,” she agrees.
“Exactly. So, right now, I don’t want to do anything that might make your mom more mad.”
Something dawns in her eyes. “You’re going to fix it.”
“I’m trying, but it might take a while.” I watch as Sierra nods agreement. “I asked her last night if we could tell people about this, and she agreed, so now I’m clear to share the news.”
“She’s not the boss of you.”
“No, but I don’t ever want to hurt your mom again. I’ll tell the guys next week. It’s only a few days difference.”
She nods and stares out the window again, but she’s not emanating hostility anymore. I’ll call it progress. “Canyou fix this, Mike?” she asks very quietly.
“I don’t know. I’ll do my best.”
“Because you still like Mom.” There’s no question in her voice but she’s watching me again.
I nod. “There never was anyone else who could compete.”
She studies me for a long moment, then looks down at her hands. “What would you have done if you’d read the letters?”
“Well, I was going to propose the last night we were together, so that probably would have been my answer.” I raise a finger before she can pounce on that. “But you can’t second-guess the past. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked out. Maybe it would have worked out, but we’d be different people now than we are.”
“I don’t understand.”
“If your mom and I had gotten married right out of high school, it wouldn’t have been easy. I spent six years doing my undergrad and graduate work. That would have been a long time to have a family and not a job. I might have quit school to go to work, which means I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing now. I probably would have made less money without my education. Not having enough money might have meant thatwe argued or split up. There’s nothing saying that the other path, the one we didn’t take, was a better one.”
