Sometime later, waiting to be questioned, I sat on the edge of the bed in the cell watching as the whitewashed walls started to close in on me.
I couldn’t believe it was happening again.
Less than three months ago, I’d been sitting in a very similar place, vowing to make a fresh start, promising myself I’d never end up there again.
My head dropped and I stared at the floor, trying to focus.
Surely Carl couldn’t press charges. He was just as guilty as I was. I took a deep breath and winced; proof he had hurt me.
Saff’s statement would prove it, I was sure of it.
The sound of the door being unlocked made me jerk my head up.
“We’re ready to question you now.” The uniformed officer stood in the doorway and beckoned me towards him.
With great effort, I stood up, my body aching. My ribs were killing me, but I wasn’t about to admit it to anyone. I hadn’t seen the state of my face, but judging by the discomfort I felt when I ran my fingers over the skin, I had some fairly colourful bruises developing.
There was a low rumble of noise in the custody suite, as well as a few shouts from adjoining cells; all sounds I’d got used to during my three months in prison. I swallowed hard as I followed the officer towards the interview rooms.
A duty solicitor was already there along with, I assumed, a plain clothes detective, bringing back unwanted memories of last time. The solicitor nodded at me and I inclined my chin in acknowledgement as I sat down beside her.
I placed my hands, palms down on the edge of the table, trying to breathe evenly. I had to keep it together.
The detective started by turning on the recorder. “We want to talk to you about the assault on Carl Doherty this evening,” he asked. “You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence, if you do not mention when questioned, something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. Can you talk me through the events leading up to it?”
I closed my eyes, the horrible familiarity of the words jarring in my brain. Memories of earlier in the evening involved Saff, make-up sex and revelling in her body. Happier times. Scott Lincoln flashed through my thoughts, how he’d come on to Saff, and my mood darkened.
As accurately as I could, I explained the evening, starting with arriving at the club, talking him through the gig and what went on afterwards.
“Saff had been gone for ages, and I started to get worried about her.”
“You say she’d been to the bathroom?”
“Yes. We were going to go back to the hotel. She wanted to sort herself out before we went.”
“And you’re aware of her drug taking, I’m assume?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Had they already spoken to Carl? Had he said she agreed to meet him to get more drugs? Was he twisting things to put the blame on me for starting the fight?
“We understand that’s how she knew Carl.” The officer scribbled something in his notebook without looking up at me.
“Yes. I know she’s taken drugs before.”Shit, was I about to get Saff into trouble too?
The scribbling continued. “Okay, so can you take me through night one more time? Right from when you arrived?”
Confused, I glanced over at the duty solicitor who nodded encouragingly. She too appeared to have copious notes on her pad from the interview. I hoped she wasn’t coming to the same conclusions the detective appeared to be. I went over it once again, trying to be as accurate as I could. It was clear to me who the victim was. It wasn’t Carl, no matter how much he might have tried to make out otherwise.
After I’d finished, the detective made me go through the night another two times. I sensed he was trying to find any inconsistencies in my statement. Finally, he seemed satisfied.
“Will you be speaking to Saff?”
“Miss Barnes? Yes, of course. Apart from you and Mr Doherty, she’s the only person who can tell us what happened.”
I hated the fact she’d have to go through this. To be cross-examined. To be asked time and time again to confirm what went on.
“You’ll stay here tonight until we’ve had the opportunity to speak to everyone involved. Do you understand?”
Mechanically, I nodded. It was late. I didn’t know where Saff was, whether she’d get spoken to tonight or in the morning. Unfortunately, I understood all too well.
