“I wasn’t going to leave you high and dry after what had happened,” I said quietly. “That’s part of the reason why I came here. To apologize, and tell you that I can help you find a comparable mare.”
Shannon shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you? I don’t want a ‘comparable mare,’ I wanted Sunshine. And thanks to you, that’s not an option.” She seemed to get caught up in her anger and frustration again, her face twisting through a mix of emotions. “You know, now that I think of it, maybe Walter and all of them are right. Maybe Lost Valley Ranch needs to reconsider backing you as well.”
I was speechless. She could’ve slapped me, and it would’ve been less painful. Considering how well-respected the Cafferty family was around town, pulling the ranch’s support would kill my chances of being able to stay. As threats went, it was just about the lowest thing she could do.
Even Shannon seemed to realize she’d gone too far. “I shouldn’t have said that. I take it back.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” I said quietly, striding a few steps closer. “That’s pretty fucking low, Shannon. I’m over here apologizing and offering a solution, and you come at me with a threat?”
She bristled at the accusation in my tone, any hint of apology dropping out of her expression. “You know what?” Shannon said. “This is pointless.”
I glanced at her to try to decipher what she meant. Was the fighting pointless, or did she mean something else? I didn’t answer.
“We can’t communicate,” she continued. “We fight. Our schedules don’t match. Our priorities are definitely not in line.”
Suddenly I understood exactly what she was getting at.
At first, there was just the shock of pain at the idea of things ending between us. But then anger surged up to take its place. If this was going to be her attitude, then fine. I wasn’t going to fight for a relationship that she’d clearly given up on already. “Yup, you’re right. This isn’t working.Wearen’t working. That’s what you’re trying to say, isn’t it?”
She nodded.
“So maybe we need to go our separate ways. Maybe that’s what’s best for both of us.”
“Yeah, it probably is.”
She sounded defeated, which took some of the wind out of my sails. I’d never heard her sound like that before.
“Okay, then,” I said in a steady voice. “I guess there’s not much more to say. I said I’m sorry for what happened, and I am.”
“I appreciate it,” Shannon replied, finally glancing at me.
She looked so sad, so diminished by everything she’d been through. Like all of the fight and pluck had gone out of her and all that was left was a shadow of the woman I knew and cared about.
I fought the urge to rush over and sweep her into my arms, to tell her that everything was going to be okay. But I couldn’t promise her that. Not when I had no idea how this mess could possibly be worked through. I’d landed myself in this situation because I’d let myself be led by my emotions—my desire for her, my need to please the other ranchers and buy Ruth’s practice so I could be closer to my parents and Shannon. My frustration with Becca had loosened my tongue at the wrong moment on a night when I’d been in a rush because I’d wanted to be at Shannon’s side. I’d acted rashly, had let my emotions be my guide, and it had ruined everything. Just as I’d always thought it would.
I’d given in to my feelings, and now there was hell to pay.
“Okay, then. I’m going to head out. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with the practice now, if I even have a chance in hell at this point, but if I do get lucky enough to buy it, know that I’ll do my best for any animal on your property. Just as I would for any other client. I promise not to let what happened between us impact the quality of my work with you.”
“I appreciate that,” Shannon said. The anger was gone and all that remained was sadness.
“Okay. Take care.”
I pulled the tack room door open and walked out before I could second guess what I was doing.
As I walked from the barn to my truck, I brooded over the fact that I’d fallen into the Morris family trap. Just like my parents and sister, I’d ignored common sense and reason and allowed passion to make the decisions for me. I’d way overstepped, and as the end result, Shannon hated me. When Ruth found out, my shot at owning her practice would probably be gone too.
I banged on the steering wheel as I pulled out of Lost Valley Ranch. How could I have made such a huge mistake? My future had been all mapped out, but I’d let my feelings for Shannon overwhelm everything else. Maybe my parents could manage being fueled by passion, but the mess my life was currently in was all the proof I needed toneverlet it happen to me again.
THIRTY-SIX
DECLAN
“Damn it!”
It was the third time I had typed the dosing instructions into the form for my client only to find that the minute I moved to the next column, everything I’d entered disappeared. If I could just calm down, I might be able to figure out what I was doing wrong but I was way too worked up for that to happen. It was like everything I touched went to shit. I glanced down at Ford, who had his head planted on my knee.
“Everything except you, right, buddy? You still love me.”
