I frowned. Maybe he was trying to take me home so we could continue there instead of on the uncomfortable roof in open view? Although based on the way he was putting distance between us, it didn’t seem likely that he had any plans to pick up where we’d left off.
“Okay…” I said, standing up slowly.
As we collected our things, I weighed the possible outcomes of the evening. Maybe he was just trying to be a gentleman, but deep down, he really wanted to rip all of my clothes off? Perhaps if we had a little more privacy and I made it clear exactly what I wanted from him, maybethenhe wouldn’t stop? Because it was the first time in forever I was aching to see how things could shape up if I gave romance a real shot. Ever since he’d asked me out, I’d been floating on cloud nine, finally feeling hopeful that my attraction to him wasn’t one-sided after all.
“All set?” he asked, looking far less horny than I was hoping for. Doubts started to creep in. Just what had I done wrong?
TWENTY-ONE
DECLAN
Down boy. Down boy,I chanted to myself as I followed behind Shannon. Even though my hard-on was getting painful, I wasn’t about to give in.
Thekiss. It made me senseless. Irrational. I would have happily made love to Shannon on the roof of the town hall, but that would have risked both of our reputations. Neither of us could afford to do that. I needed to be calm, rational, focused for the both of us. Instead, I was sweaty, anxious, and horny.
“Well, here we are,” Shannon said shyly as we crested the porch at the ranch.
This shyness was a side of her that I wasn’t used to. The Shannon I knew could hold her own in a room full of ranchers. She could command the entire barn from the livestock to the ranch hands. So who was this delicate creature blushing as she stared at me from under her lashes? She was so damn gorgeous that it made it hard for me to stay in control. I needed to keep myself together, otherwise I might do something I’d regret. Kissing was one thing. I wasn’t about to cross that boundary with Shannon,not before I was sure of what she wanted and what the possible consequences might be.
She raised onto her tiptoes and touched her lips to mine gently and in spite of myself, I snaked my arms around her waist, bringing her closer.
Within seconds, she was practically purring against me, and I felt myself starting to lose control. She bit my lip playfully and giggled when I flinched.
“Sorry,” she whispered between kisses. “Do you want to come in and I’ll make it all better?”
I pulled away, hating myself for stopping her again.
“Okay,what’sgoing on here?” Shannon asked sharply, scanning my face. “You’re making me feel weird with this hot and cold behavior. Do you not want to kiss me? Was…” She flushed, looking miserable. “Was the kiss not good for you?”
I bit back my frustration.
“The kiss was amazing. And of course I want to come in. So much. But… I thought this was just a fun thing. I didn’t want to pressure you into more than you’re comfortable with.” I gestured to the door, and we both knew exactly what I meant.
“What are you talking about?” she demanded.
“You don’tdatedate, so I didn’t think it would be right to, uh… take things to the next level between us on a whim. I respect you, Shannon. I’m not going to get caught up in the passion without knowing what this is or where it’s going.”
She pursed her lips and glared at me. “If you really respect me, you’ll let me make my own decisions. I know what I want.” Her expression softened as she took my hand.
I held her gaze, trying to figure out a way to explain what was holding me back.
“What? Tell me,” she urged, bringing our joined hands to her chest.
It wasn’t easy for me, but telling Shannon under the glow of the porch light felt right.
“I don’t like giving in to wild emotions, you know? Bad things can happen when you let passion make your decisions for you. People get hurt.”
“Hey,” Shannon said softly, taking a step closer to me. “It’s okay. We’re both going into this as grown-ups who know exactly what we want. And I want you, Declan Morris. Tonight, it’s about you and me. Whatever comes next, we’ll deal with it together. Are you okay with that?”
I quickly calculated what might happen if I let myself go, if I gave into the uncontrolled passion burning inside of me. The prospect was worrying. On the other hand, though, trying to tamp down what I was feeling seemed all but impossible. My desire for her was so strong that there was no way I could ignore it.
Instead of answering her, I swept her into a frantic kiss, letting all my fears slip away. She met the kiss with an almost frenzied intensity, and I tightened my grip around her, locking her in my arms. It was like she was hypnotizing me, like I belonged to her. I walked her backward toward the door, never taking my lips off hers.
We’d both been waiting for too long, and we weren’t about to waste another second.
Shannon’s room was at the farthest corner of the house, set so far away from the rest of it that it was like she had her own wing. Good. I had no intention of being quiet or discreet. While I knew that she lived alone, either of her siblings or the ranch hands could come through the common areas at any time. We kissed and fumbled with each other’s clothing as we headed for her room, and I didn’t pause when Shannon pulled my shirt off, then dropped it on the ground in the hallway. The thin blouse she was wearing was so delicate that I was afraid I was going to rip it as I struggled to get it off her. I was desperate to feel her against me, to run my fingertips along her skin, and explore every inch of her until she quivered. I finally managed to pull the blouse over her head and sighed when she pressed her lacy bra against my chest.
That needed to come off too.Now.
