I wait on bated breath for her cries to ring through the air like they have every other time I’ve tried to put her down today.
My legs give out, and I sink to the floor. I really should go take a shower or eat something, but I don’t know if I have the energy to do either. The guys have been on shift the last few days, so it’s been all on me.
Warren’s parents came up for the day to get Jackson out of the house for a while. Last I heard, they were going to get ice cream and go fishing.
Tears start to well in my eyes, and I don’t even really know why. I shouldn’t be crying like this anymore. I had Mia seven weeks ago. I should be back to normal.Right?
I bury my face in my hands, letting loose the tears I’ve been holding in for days.
I knew being a mom was going to be hard, but I didn’t expect this. The world doesn’t prepare you for what having a newborn is really like.
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade any of it. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s fucking hard.
A callused hand grazes my cheek. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Tucker’s voice drips with concern, his knees falling to the hardwood beside me.
I continue to cry into my hands. He pries the monitor from my fingers.
“Baby, you’re freaking me out. What happened?” He gently tilts my head up, so I’m forced to look at him.
His eyes dart all over me, searching for a reason why I’m crying.
“Please talk to me,” he pleads, his hands framing the sides of my tear-stained face.
“I… I don’t… don’t know why,” I get out between sobs.
His shoulders relax. He falls back against the opposite wall in the narrow hallway, pulling me with him. My head rests against his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around me.
Heavy feet pad down the hallway behind me.
“What’s going on?” Warren asks.
Tucker runs his hand over my back. “She’s okay,” he says. His voice is almost a whisper. “Everything just boiled over, I think.”
I nod against his chest.
Warren crouches down until he’s in my line of sight. “I’m sorry we weren’t here,” he says, grabbing one of my hands in both of his.
I drag in a deep breath, shaking my head. “You had to work.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says, shaking his head right back. “I don’t care where we are or what we are doing. If you need us, we will always be here.”
“You don’t have to do this alone,” Grayson adds, leaning down right beside Warren.
“I need to be able to do this on my own, though,” I say, my voice still shaky.
“Why?” Tucker asks.
I open my mouth, but no words come out.
“What do we need to do to prove to you that we aren’t going anywhere, that we are in this together?” Grayson says.
“I know all of that,” I tell him.
New tears well in my eyes, but this time I know why they’re there.These three men.
The three of them share a look, something passing between them that I don’t understand.
Grayson gets up, walking back toward the kitchen. Warren squeezes my hand.
