I was suspicious instantly, knowing that men like him rarely offered things out that were sweet or without something in return.
“Offer me what?”
“Just like the Cartels, the Bratva have a large foothold in this country, in many different places. Part of the Red Diamonds plan has always been to take over and turn whatever we can into ours. You could help do that.”
“You want me to play gangster?”I might have had a temper and a violent streak, but that didn’t usually go hand in hand with playing gangster as part of Sapphire’s crew.
Even if the idea of it intrigued me enough that I didn’t automatically tell Beau to fuck himself and walk away.
“I want you to let me train you so that one day you can take over as the Bratva branch of the Red Diamonds and make an empire ten times the size of your fathers. Partly to benefit us - a little so you can spite him.”He replied.“I wish to offer you the gift of strength and power. That’s about all I can offer you, if you want it.”
I probably should have thought about it. At least considered the reality of what he said and what it would mean. But truthfully, the moment I heard the word power, I was in. Power to stand up for myself had been something I had desperatelycraved for years, and to have a monster like Beau Montana offering it to me? Offering to train me in all the sick and sadistic ways that I knew his family excelled in?
I was in. I was more than in.
“Okay.”My head bobbed, blonde braids swinging around my face.“Train me and then I will consider not being a bitch to you for the next few decades for your inadvertent hand in my life being horrible.”
Not that I thought I would see another few decades of life. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to see another year of it yet. Even so, my offer was the same.
“Okay, deal accepted.”Beau laughed.
I let him lead me into the garage happily. Lincoln was there, leaning against his car with a set of keys in his hand and wearing his usual bored and unimpressed facial expression. For the first time ever, I was actually excited to be in the presence of men – I wanted it.
“What is this?” I asked Beau, but I spoke in English, not wanting to be rude to Sapphire’s boyfriend and well-trained lapdog. Or maybe that was poorly trained lapdog, seeing as she often cussed him out and insisted he was a fool.
Beau pointed at Lincoln and the car. “Lesson one – how to handle pressure and stay calm. I figured we’d need to work on your temper control first, and this seems the best way to do it.”
“That needs this car?” I didn’t bother to ask how he knew I had a temper. I had threatened to kill his girlfriend the first time I met him, so I figured he understood the wavelengths of my brain.
He shrugged. “If you can race like Lincoln does without panic, then that’s a great first step. But the driving aspect is also to teach you patience. It takes a lot to learn to drive as well as Lincoln does, and I think it will help you and it seems better to start with something that doesn’t require you fighting me orsomething else that puts us in close proximity.” He explained how I would then work with Logan next, learning to look after the same cars I would be racing to gain even more patience and control. After that it would be fighting with Beau himself.
The fact he was starting with something that didn’t require his hands – a man’s hands – on me made me happier even if I kept my mouth shut about appreciating it.
“Then let us drive.” I stepped forward, eager to get started and not have to spend another day in my room, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do with the rest of my life and the ache in my chest that begged me to kill people and then myself.
Lincoln opened the driver’s side door, entirely unbothered about everything. Not that I liked him, but out of all of Sapphire’s people, I preferred Logan and Lincoln the most. In this case it was a little because Lincoln had been part of my rescue, but mostly because he was quiet and calm. He wasn’t loud and cocky, like Price and Kody. He wasn’t too soft for the world, like Misha. Logan was silent a lot, and he was patient; things I enjoyed the minimal I had to interact with him. Lincoln was the same. And if I had to pick men to teach me things, then they were a good pairing, and I could admit I wasn’t too mad about it.
I didn’t want to stab them, like I did with Kiril, Daniil and Vissarion. I didn’t want to kill them, even a little, and not just because I liked Sapphire too much to make her hurt with their loss.
Lincoln handed me the keys to his car with a stern glare.
“You fuck up my car and I’ll put you in a ditch somewhere.” He promised. “I just got it back and I have no intentions of letting someone ruin it again.”
“Then I guess you need to not be sucking as a teacher then.” I replied, pretending my lips didn’t twitch with the desire tolaugh. “If you do good, then there is no need for me to crash. So this blame would be on you.”
He nodded his head, seemingly agreeing with me. “I think you’ll be fine – you’re not the princess, so it shouldn’t be hard to teach you not to crash into nothing.”
“Sapphire crashes?” I didn’t mean to grin about it, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. “I would like to become better than her. This seems good to me and if she is bad, like you say, then perhaps it can be easy for me.”
I was competitive in my soul, always had been. And though I liked Sapphire, and knew one day I would happily consider her as family in more than just surname, I would have loved to best her at something. She was better than me at most things than me, and she was a pretty cool woman. I admired her, and if I could be even a tenth like her, I would be glad because she had something I knew I would never get.
She was happy.
Even in the darkness, she was happy.
Chapter Twenty Two
Staring into the mirror in Sapphire’s bathroom, I did my best not to look at the thick, jagged scar running down my chest as I prepared my razor and shaving cream, needing to take the last step into making myself look and feel normal again. It wasn’t like I was self-conscious. If anything, I thought the scar was kind of cool. But my girl kept looking sad when she saw it and I knew it made her remember how she thought I was dead. That meant I would hide it from her as often as I could until she felt a little better in her mind and then I didn’t need to worry about accidentally making her relive something that hurt her.
